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Me: "Hello there, my name's Paul and I'm a magician working here tonight. Can I demonstrate a few magical wonders while you wait for your food?"

Spec: "Oh, well, those children over there might."

A lifetime's study in the metaphysical arts reduced to the level of balloon bending in one awful sentence. A small part of me died.

themagicwand wrote:
A lifetime's study in the metaphysical arts reduced to the level of balloon bending in one awful sentence. A small part of me died.

Not that I've anything against balloon benders of course. They do a sterling job, and I've been known to bend a few in my time (bills to pay, you understand).

The unholy "Do you do kids shows" I an aritst you dont ask Turner to paint the bog do you?

And doing mind reading on kids isnt has fun. A doubt any of them have been having an affair with the lady in number 24.

I've discovered the hard way that children, me, and magic simply do not mix. Some people can do magic for children and everyone has a wonderful, enchanting time. I, on the other hand, tend to get abused and beaten up.

Even at wedding receptions where I am employed as an "adult" magician things can go horribly wrong. Take yesterday for instance. I'd worked my guts out for three hours, performing small miracles on the tables for the assembled masses. When my time was up, I went to say goodbye to the bride and groom and collect my cheque. The groom had mislaid his cheque book and had to go off to find it. I spent the following 10 minutes being attacked by small children with inflatable hammers, much to the amusement of the grown-ups who seemed to think the spectacle of their brats assailing me was somehow "cute". And those inflatable hammers can actually hurt when they're directed at you with enough gusto.

10 minutes before I was an incredible psychic and mind-reader. Now in everyone's memory I'm "that guy that got beaten up by the kids with those blow up hammers".

Kids. Pah.

In my day job has a home contents logistics officer. There was this kid getting in the way. I secrely tripped him up and all that to get him out the way. But he was relentless. I had a sofa in my hand he decided to swing on. so i swang the sofa ever so slightly and the kid smack his head on the wall and fell to ground. Shouldnth ave been in the way. Of course I didnt do it on purpose he come up on my blind side.

Mr wand why didnt you smash one of there kids up with a brass knuckle. I would have. See how they like it.

Markdini wrote:
Mr wand why didnt you smash one of there kids up with a brass knuckle. I would have. See how they like it.

Yes, but then the police get involved and the whole thing can get very ugly. I find a dignified aloofness tends to get my through such situations.

I hate all that "its just kids being kids" where do you draw the line? I couldnt be a kids entertainer.

Markdini wrote:I hate all that "its just kids being kids" where do you draw the line? I couldnt be a kids entertainer.

I used to do kids' magic shows but thankfully not so much these days. As I said earlier, some people can do kids' shows and they're woderful events. Unfortunately for me I seem to bring out the worst in kids and the whole thing often descends into a riot.

I think the problem is that my persona of cheeky pseudo-psychic conman that endears me so well to adults leaves kids cold. To them I'm just an evil man who's trying to pull the wool over their eyes. When it comes to kids shows my motto is: "Take a deep breath and think of the pay cheque." Which I'm very aware is probably half my problem. C'est la vie.

I like kids... I admire their energy.. i dont remember having that level of energy at their age.

I can entertain kids... but doing magic for kids isnt for me.. besides.. once you are known for entertaining kids.. how could you let go of that rep??

I prefer entertaining for adults as you can connect on a much more intellectual level..

You can also touch foxy chicks doing magic for them. You shouldnt really touch kids.

I think magic inspires images of kids magicians and all that rabbits out of a hat etc.

There was a woman last night who after showing her some remarkable magic and road testing a small amount of mentalism remarked:

I always love the one where the woman is sawn in half.. I have no idea how that is done.. do you want to come back to mine and tear me into two??

I wasnt sure how to take that

Sometimes i.d its best to count your self lucky. I do a 3 way prediction , of a time an esp card and a playing card and then got asked can you do that card on the celling thingy.

I.D wrote:There was a woman last night who after showing her some remarkable magic and road testing a small amount of mentalism remarked:

I always love the one where the woman is sawn in half.. I have no idea how that is done.. do you want to come back to mine and tear me into two??

I wasnt sure how to take that

Last night I went up to a table of ladies, and after introducing myself I asked who was going to be my volunteer. I always ask this so I know who to sit next to. However at this table a lady says "I'll be your volunteer" and stands up and walks to the front of the restaurant. I had to gently lead the poor confused thing back to her seat and explain the concept of "table magic".

themagicwand wrote:Me: "Hello there, my name's Paul and I'm a magician working here tonight. Can I demonstrate a few magical wonders while you wait for your food?"

Spec: "Oh, well, those children over there might."

A lifetime's study in the metaphysical arts reduced to the level of balloon bending in one awful sentence. A small part of me died.

I really felt for you when I read that! It's truly horrible.

It's sad but the word "magic", in the minds of many people, especially in the UK I have to say, is definitely still seen as something rather naff undertaken by corny, self-serving individuals wearing bow-ties and telling awful jokes while buggering about with bits of rope.

Which is incredible when you think that magic is basically the art of performing miracles. Miracles! Who on earth wouldn't want to see a miracle? "Oh yes, I'm sure the kids over there would like to see something that defies all of Newton's laws, but I'm afraid we're busy talking about Eastenders."

Which is why I believe it's important, no matter whether professional or amateur (which I very much am) or enthusiastic schoolboy or -girl, to treat magic as something more than than a bit of a laugh, more than something to pass the time before the soup arrives. Which is not to say it can't be fun or performed humorously, of course. Even "comedy" magic, though not my cup of chamomile, can be delivered for impact. Someone's just posted a few of Lennart Green's videos - the guy's hilarious, but also mind-bogglingly brilliant and inspiring.

The chap I saw at a wedding last month, however, spent the entire evening reinforcing the public perception of magic as a last refuge for the friendless and ungifted. Plenty of gags, plenty of tricks executed very well indeed, but no rapport with the audience, no drama, no journey, no conflict... no wonder serious magicians get sent over to the kids' table.