talkmagic.co.uk

1 Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2 At the end of every party you always see a fat girl crying.

3 One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4 Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

5 You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

6 Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

7 You never know where to look when eating a banana.

8 You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

9 The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

10 Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

11 Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

12 Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

13 Old ladies can eat more than you think.

14 You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

15 Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

16 You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

17 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Very good carlos. Liked those.

Carlos75 wrote:

4 Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

Also poking a fire with a stick makes you feel manly too

Carlos75 wrote:
4 Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

For me this usually results in a visit to casualty.

When it comes to doing "manly" things, I'm more in touch with my feminine side. Must be why I'm so psychic.

themagicwand wrote:When it comes to doing "manly" things, I'm more in touch with my feminine side. Must be why I'm so psychic.

Indeed...women are psychic.

When I was single, on a really hot day I thought that it would be wise to go outside, lie down, and have a nice cold manly drink.

But after I was in a relationship, I was obviously wrong. It is boiling hot, and what do I need? Not a cold beer obviously...a nice pot of tea

*shudders*

Carlos75 wrote:3 One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

Talk about a coincidence, me and my bro-in-law were going on about this on Sat (we were a bit sozzled at the time. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it ).

Very nice - I liked those

Carlos75 wrote:10 Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

Not just me then!

Sorry to dissapoint, I got my arm broken when a swan landed on it - actually, it was more like several swans. CONSPIRACY!

2 At the end of every party you always see a fat girl crying.

erm nope usualy the fat girls even bigger mum wanting me to husband number 2 or 5.