talkmagic.co.uk

Dave just emailed me this link, have a read through, made me cry with laughter.

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/r ... &t=3141618

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/r ... &t=3141618

hold on, that's not working. What am I doing wrong here?

being a woman?

oh don't you start! I'm only copying the link from the email and it works fine in that

ok, another link from Davey boy.

Click the top link on this page (if it works)

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/s ... &fldbody=1

oh that doesn't work either, I'm just going to give up!

This thread is turning into a Friday Funny

it is the mental dude who wanted a woman to cycle with?

ok, here's a better idea. Do a search on that forum for picolax and it should be the thread at the top of the list.

Blimey! That stuff is.... is... evil!

Well rather than start another thread thought I'd post here.

I thought it was really funny I've just had some really funny looks in my direction as I was reading this.

I've just wiped away the last of the tears (I'm off tomorrow so its friday for me today)

Remember it takes a University degree to fly a plane, but only a GCSE's to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "Gripe Sheet", which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way,Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

QUANTAS = Quite Unusual. A Nice Trip. All Survived

I love these sorts of things

The best I ever read came from a list of complaints to the council about council housing. It went something like...

My bush at the front is overgrown and there's a fungus growing in my back passage

did you know they had to stop selling TWA branded drinks onboard their flights a few years back?

Would you like some TWA beer?
Would you like some TWA cola?
Would you like some TWA coffee?
Would you like some TWA tea?

Lady of Mystery wrote:My bush at the front is overgrown and there's a fungus growing in my back passage

Nothing a razor and a shot of penicillen wouldn't fix!