talkmagic.co.uk

Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children

Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.

Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.

Hairdryer:
Do not use while taking a shower.

Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.

Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.

Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness


Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.

Bic Lighter
Ignite lighter away from face.

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Fire Extinguisher:
Caution: Non-Flamable

Earplugs
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe

Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.

Pepper Spray
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.

Fix-a-Flat
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.

Rain Gauge
Suitable for outdoor use.

RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe

Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Caution: Risk of fire

Triops Fish Food
Warning: Not for human consumption

Home Depot Treated Lumber
Do not consume

Hair Dryer
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.

Road Sign
Caution water on road during rain.

Camera
This camera will only work when film is inside.

Road Sign
Cemetery Road. Dead End

Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park

Children's Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often

Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold

American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.

Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.

Hershey's Almond Bar
Warning: May contain traces of nuts

Heinz Ketchup
Instructions: Put on food

500-piece puzzle:
Some assembly required.

Beach Ball
CAUTION: It is not a life saving device.

Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands. Do not use on genitals.

Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.

Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

Packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children

Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you

New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.

Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado

Cardboard windshield sun shade:
Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.

Infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.

Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

Disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.

Bottle of shampoo for dogs
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.

Curling Iron
Warning: This product can burn eyes.

Hair Dryer
Do not use in shower.

Hair Dryer
Do not use while sleeping.

Hand-held Massaging Device
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.

Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.

A toilet at a public sports facility
Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.

Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

Container of Underarm Deodorant.
Caution: Do not spray in eyes.

Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter.
Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.

Toner cartridge for a laser printer
Do not eat toner.

13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow
Not intended for highway use.

Can of self-defense pepper spray.
May irritate eyes.

Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock"
Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.

A frisbee
Warning: May contain small parts.

A toilet bowl cleaning brush.
Do not use orally.

A birthday card for a 1 year old.
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.

Heated seat cushion
Warning: Do not use on eyes.

Microwave Oven:
Do not use for drying pets.

Electric Cattle Prod
For use on animals only.

Can of air freshener.
For use by trained personnel only.

Silly Putty
Do not use as ear plugs.

Knife sharpening stone
Warning: knives are sharp!

Deodorant
Do not use intimately.

Rat Poison
Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.

Portable stroller
Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.

Dashboard of a mail truck
Look before driving.

Children's cough medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

Sign at a railroad station
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

Bottom of a supermarket dessert box
Do not turn upside down.

Package of dice.
Not for human consumption.

Bottled Drink:
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.

Shipment of hammers
May be harmful if swallowed.

Manual for an SGI computer.
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.

Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.

Electric Thermometer.
Do not use orally after using rectally.

Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
Turn off motor before using this product.

6x10 inch inflatable picture frame
Not to be used as a personal flotation device.

Box of bottle rockets
Do not put in mouth.

Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack
Remove plastic before eating.

Box for a car jack
For lifting purposes only.

Instructions for a cordless phone:
Do not put lit candles on phone.

Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean
Do not drive cars in ocean.

Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert
Always drive on roads. Not on people.

Bus Stop
No stopping or standing.

Church Sign
These rows reserved for parents with children.

Bag of Fritos
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Credit card statement.
Payment is due by the due date.

Laundromat triple washer
No small children.

Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building
Take care: new non-slip surface.

Box of Pills
Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone.

Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

Can of black pepper.
Instructions: usage known.

Bag of cat biscuits
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.

Car Manual
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.

Espresso Kettle
The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position.

T.V. manual
Do not pour liquids into your television set.

Label on a hammer
Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object

VCR box
Instructional video on hooking up VCR included.

Toilet brush
Do not use for personal hygiene.

Black rubber fishing worm
Not for human consumption.

Orange Juice Can:
100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.

Depend Adult Diapers
Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear.

Furniture Wipes
Do not use for a baby wipe.

Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet
This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision.

Lawnmower
Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning

Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza
Do not turn upside down.

Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle
Do not open here.

Bottle of bathtub cleaner
For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.

Container of lighter fluid
WARNING: Contents flammable!

Box of household nails
CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!

Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it
Direction #1: Remove plastic.

Drink bottle label
Do not peel label off.

Woolite carpet cleaner
Safe for carpets, too!

Box of Frosted Cheerio's
The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."

Sterno
Do not use near fire or flame.

Container of salt
Warning: High in sodium

Hose Nozzle
Do not spray into electrical outlet.

==

Feel free to add more

Giant Bucket of Pickles used in Fast Food Restaurants

Warning: Children can drown in bucket, do not place kids in juice

Only in America!!

The label on my jacket says "keep away from fire", pretty sound advice really.

Earth: WARNING - May Contain Nuts

some chinese make of blender

Warning: Not for the other use

They have to do that, because if they dont some idiot will do it and try to sue them. ITs just for legal reasons.

Like "Hot Coffee", yet for some reason that person won the suit.
Really really sad, that people are stupid enough to sue over that, and really sad that the jury or judge agreed. Then again they might have just settled. But still, that person didnt deserve one cent.

IF you get consumer reports, in the back pages they have things just like you listed. Funny prints, missprints, etc.

Heck I even have a cook book that says "start fire in grill."
I would have never guessed!

Heck I even have a cook book that says "start fire in grill."
I would have never guessed!

dave, not good news if its electric.

if i ran to full eec advisory code when doing a disco i would have to lable all of my electric plugs "warning may cause electrocution if improperly used" and "not to be used internaly".

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

*Falls out of his chair laughing while spitting up his soda which has just come out his nose.*

.:Ham:.

And the winner is:

Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow




Fell off my chair, just as the manager walked in....

Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands. Do not use on genitals.

I'm glad they put that on. There I was about to go crazy on them.

HAAHAA, The funniest ne I ever saw was on Calpol (Spelling?) - Its a Childrens medicine in UK (just to clarify what it is)

Calpol: Do not operate Heavy Machinery whilst using this product

Kids with forklifts, its a crazy crazy world

Dan

Dunno if this was in that eternally long list but:

Christmas Lights:

For outside or inside use only

David The Cryptic wrote:
Like "Hot Coffee", yet for some reason that person won the suit.
Really really sad, that people are stupid enough to sue over that, and really sad that the jury or judge agreed. Then again they might have just settled. But still, that person didnt deserve one cent.

!

Things most people don't know about "The McDonald's Case":

* While coffee served at home is around 140-145 degrees, and coffee served at most restaurants is about 155 degrees, coffee served at McDonald's was, by company policy, served at 180-190 degrees. Thus, the general knowledge that "coffee is hot" did not suffice to put the plaintiff on notice that this particular coffee can cause third degree burns in as little as 2 seconds (as was introduced into evidence at trial).

* The plaintiff spent 8 days in the hospital and underwent skin grafting and debridement treatments for third degree burns that covered about 6 percent of her body.

* McDonalds was on notice that their coffee was particularly dangerous, having received some 700 complaints of scalding, yet never consulted a burn expert or evaluated the ramifications of serving coffee dramatically higher than just about anyone in the business.

* A McDonalds witness asserted that customers buy coffee on the way to work or home, intending to consume it there; internal documents showed that the company was well aware that their customers intend to consume the coffee immediately while driving.

* The plaintiff was not driving the car when the coffee spilled; she was a passenger, and the vehicle was not in motion.

* Under a comparative negligence framework, the damages were reduced by 20% to account for the 20% of the fault that the jury attributed to the plaintiff.

* McDonalds admitted that its customers were unaware that they could suffer third degree burns from the coffee they were being served.

* A thermodynamics expert introduced evidence that had the coffee been served at an industry standard 155 degrees, the cooling time (which is exponentially related to the temperature) would have shortened and allowed her to avoid the most serious burns.

* The elderly plaintiff, who had never previously sued anyone or any entity, offerred to drop the suit in exchange for $20,000 to cover her medical bills; McDonald's, which made at the time $1.3 million each day in coffee sales alone, refused.

* The vast majority of the jury's award was in punitive damages -- designed specifically to deter the defendant's wrongful conduct in the future. The compensatory damages (which include pain and suffering) were $200,000 (reduced to $160,000 to reflect her partial responsibility). The punitives were $2.6 million, or two days' coffee sales.

* On appeal, the award was reduced to $480,000, or roughly four hours' worth of coffee sales, although there were findings by the judge that McDonalds' conduct was reckless, callous, and willful, and by the jury that it was willful, reckless, malicious, or wanton.


A big part of the jurisprudence concerning negligence involves not just who did what, but what was reasonably foreseeable, and to whom? I suspect that most of us have spilled coffee on ourselves. I also suspect that most of us did not require skin grafts for our clumsiness. We all know coffee is "hot," but what this plaintiff didn't know was that it's 20% higher at McDonalds, and that increase carries a very real risk of third degree burns. McDonalds, by all accounts, DID know, and didn't particularly care. So one day, the big, bad jury said they couldn't make any money (on coffee) between 7:00 and 11:00 a.m. But don't worry...they still sold lots of Egg McMuffins that day.

I once was in a restaurant and I asked for something that had peanut butter in the name. They replied with "you know that has peanuts right?"

Check out your milk bottles. There are some that have "open other end" moulded into the base. I bet the designer just had a sense of humour.