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You might be a magician if…

Your best pickup line is "Pick a card."

You tell bad jokes 75% of the time.

You pay $50 for a $1 coin.

A "shell" is not something found on a beach.

You think David Blaine sucks (c’mon how true is this!!!).

You won’t play card games with your cards.

While watching a movie or TV, you have cards in your hands.

You pose for a photo with one eyebrow raised!

You know who Brad Christian is and you always wonder if he’s gay or not.

Your Christmas/Birthday wish list looks like a magic catalogue.

If you've ever been asked the question "can you make my wife disappear"?

You’re back-ordered for rabbits and doves at the pet store.

You use the word "effect" rather than "trick".

You drive 300 miles round trip to visit a teeney-tiny store.

You have over 100 responses to the phrase "How did you do that?"

There’s a pack of cards in sight as you read these words.

You're holding a fan of cards in every photo that you're in.

You actually want to go to a lecture.

You have a dog named "Houdini".

You record every magic special on TV.

You wear playing card pajamas.

You get emotional when shuffling a new deck. (So true!)

Anytime you see someone you want to meet, you start rolling a coin or doing one-handed shuffles with a deck.

You have more than three decks of cards on you at any given time.

No one will play cards with you....ever.

Your idea of the perfect proposal is Copperfields 'Rose to Ring'

All your friends call you when magic is on TV.

The post office calls to tell you that you have ANOTHER package in.

Your entire friends name starts with "The Amazing" or "The Great".

After viewing magic on TV, everyone in the room looks at you asks, "How'd they do that"? And, all you do is smile and say, "It's really easy if you think about it, but magicians can't tell." And you're really thinking "How the heck did they do that"?

You have your local magic shop on speed dial.

You can lose your thumb and you visit the magic shop instead of the emergency ward.

You pay to see a lecture, buy a written version of what was just demonstrated to you, and then buy a manufactured version of something in the notes.

You pay $60.00 for a book and get, possibly, one or two useful things out of it and you're happy.

You have so much magic stuff in your room that it’s considered a fire hazard.

You have more elastic bands than a stationary shop.

You spend hours trying to rearrange the letters in your name to use on stage (only to come back years later using your real name).

You bring your topit or pull to class on exam day incase you need to make an "emergency vanish".

You don't mind kissing a dove.

It really matters to you how someone shuffles your deck.

You expect people to think ‘it's magic’ when it took you half an hour to set up.

You own a top hat, cape and cane and have never gone to the opera.

You began demonstrating the mysteries of ancient China at the age of 9.

When you come to visit, your friends hide all the silverware and bring out plastic ones.

Someone actually hands you a fork and says please bend this.

You say 'how’s tricks?' to a friend and get a 2 hour lecture.

You pretended to be insane just to get the straight jacket.

You can say "I will now penetrate ..." with a straight face.

"Bikes and Ho’s" is not a funny phrase to you.

You spend the most money on things that other people aren’t allowed to see.

The majority of your English papers are about magic.

You have one or more chipped teeth from biting the wrong quarter.

You never throw out old decks because you "can make something out of it".

You carefully watch a card-playing scene in a movie only to see what kind of cards they’re using.
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Just for the male magicians:

Your girlfriend knows the sound of riffled cards over the phone.

You force your wife to take fertility drugs, so you can do those illusions that use twins....

You see a beautiful woman and think if she will suit your act.

Magic turns you on more than women do.

You spend more time in front of a mirror than your girlfriend does.

You show your girlfriend the same trick everyday insisting that "I've improved it greatly".

Your wife tells you "we are going out to dinner, now dear, please leave your toys at home".

You are the only one of your male friends that has a nice "silk collection".

You ask every waitresses you meet "do you have a minute"

Excellent! See more at http://www.talkmagic.co.uk/ftopic1717.php

phfft, you only beat me by 4 years.

Still a great read

And most of them are just so true!

The Brad Christian one made me absolutely die with laughter!!!

Ive often wondered that to be honest....

Magic Mark wrote:The Brad Christian one made me absolutely die with laughter!!!

Ive often wondered that to be honest....

He promised me in bed last night that he wasn't

You carefully watch a card-playing scene in a movie only to see what kind of cards they’re using.

That was me the other night! I think it was a Ben Affleck/Jennifer Lopez film, I forget the title. On enthusiastically mentioning to my wife that they were using Bicycle cards, she just did this... and said something horrible. Soemthing about getting a life, if I recall.

There’s a pack of cards in sight as you read these words.

Haha I laughed for ages. So true!

Bicycle808 wrote:

You carefully watch a card-playing scene in a movie only to see what kind of cards they’re using.

That was me the other night! I think it was a Ben Affleck/Jennifer Lopez film, I forget the title. On enthusiastically mentioning to my wife that they were using Bicycle cards, she just did this... and said something horrible. Soemthing about getting a life, if I recall.

I can top that - back in the Summer I recorded and watched over and over again the CGI M&M's advert where the coated candy beings are playing cards - just because the deck looked like red bikes. I'm sure it was but still couldn't be certain - Mrs.M was most scathing about my actrivities. And then some idiot (often times known as Mandrake!) recorded over it so I'm waiting for the ad to re-appear…..

You know who Brad Christian is and you always wonder if he’s gay or not.

that and the movie one, the best bit of shotgun aces was when buddy israel was doing card tricks and threw a card at someones head...

I stick with the standard:

You know you're a magician when... the word "palm" is a verb.