talkmagic.co.uk

Hey, does any of you magic guys have jokes about coins. I am thinking about a presentation about a coin effect and would like to add a few gags into the routine. Cheers in advance.
Andy

Via Google, two jokes which might get you a kick in the shins from Lomster:

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "And as I have more time left, I'm rechecking my answers."

Adresed to a rather lovely lady in the audience:

Do you have a coin? I want to call your parents to thank them.

and:

Two lazy country bumpkins heard that the streets of London were paved with gold, so they set out to make their fortune. As they walked out of Euston Station one man saw a pound coin lying on the pavement, bending to pick it up he said , 'Oooh arr, look at that, we'll be making our fortune in no time at all!".

The other guy stops him from picking it up saying "Leave it there for now, we can always start work tomorrow morning!"

A man is walking along the beach when he hears a deep voice. The voice says "Dig!" The man turns to look around, but, seeing no one, continues to walk. Again the voice says, "Dig!"

So the man gets down on his knees and starts digging in the sand until he comes across a gold coin.

The voice says "Casino!" so the man goes to the casino and the voice says "Roulette!".

The man takes the box to the roulette table and the voice says "27!" He puts the coin on 27, they spin the ball and it comes up 26. The voice says "Damn!

cheers for that mandrake

I've always liked the old:

"some people say money talks, it seems that you money..."
[vanish coin]
"...is saying goodbye" [wave now empty hand]

"some people say money talks, it seems that you money..."
[vanish coin]
"...is saying goodbye" [wave now empty hand]

I like that one! Bit cheesy, but is almost as bit of misdirection!

If only I had a penny for everytime some one asked for a coin joke.......






I'll get my coat

Don't know if this will go over for an English crowd or not...

The performer states, "This is an American Half Dollar. As you can see, there is a picture of John F. Kennedy on the front and it has a picture of Marylin Monroe on the back..."

Upon turning the coin over and showing it he states, "Oh, no, wait...That's just a spread eagle."

Mike.

Michael Jay wrote:Don't know if this will go over for an English crowd or not...

The performer states, "This is an American Half Dollar. As you can see, there is a picture of John F. Kennedy on the front and it has a picture of Marylin Monroe on the back..."

Upon turning the coin over and showing it he states, "Oh, no, wait...That's just a spread eagle."

Mike.

Great gag, completely lost on us Brits

I thought sexist jokes were against forum rules . Ban the lot of them , Huh! Huh! Huh!

the usa coin gag was awesome!!!!!

theres a great blonde joke... there is this blonde putting coins into a machine presses a few buttons and a can of coke comes out. She does this a few more times and each time a can of coke comes out. The guy behind her taps her on the shoulder and says" excuse me will you hurry up as i wanna drink" she says " what's the matter with you!!! can't you see I'm on a winning streak!!!!!!" HA HA HA

not really that funny, but something throw in...

see these coins? (2x50p's) i bought them off a market, two for a pound...

abraxus wrote:not really that funny, but something throw in...

see these coins? (2x50p's) I bought them off a market, two for a pound...

See this coin (quid) I got it from a pound shop.

same idea

Abraxus wrote:

see these coins? (2x50p's) I bought them off a market, two for a pound...

I though that was real funny

Topical one: If all of the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

but just remember, money frees you from doing things that you dislike and since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy (Groucho Marks)

A study of economics usuaklly reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today

I make money the old fashioned way - my salary is the same as it was ten years ago.

I made my money the old fashioned way - my dad left it to me in his will

I married my wife for her money and believe me, I've earned it!

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it

Money isn't everything but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch

Never borrow money from an optomist - they always expect to get it back

What's the quickest way to double this £10 note? fold it in half

What I want to know is how a foold and his money got together in the first place?

I worship my wife so much that I worship the ground that her father found oil on

Money isn't everything - there's always Visa and Mastercard

Living on earth may be expensive but at least it includes a free annual trip around the sun

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it (Bob Hope)

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life - unless I buy something

For my next piece of wonder, I need some coins.

*Produce pair of knickers."

These are Penny's.



Could be done using that silk to panties trick, perhaps.