From P.T.Selbit's Magician's handbook, 1904:
A few hints to entertainers that must not be taken too seriously:-
1: If you book a swell drawing room show, do not go in a check shirt or thread gloves. It looks as though you didn't know any better.
2: Do not ask anyone you see hanging about the hall to carry your bag into the dressing room until you ascertain that he is not one of the guests. You are liable to be offended at his reply if you mistake an earl for a flunkey.
3: If you borrow a plate or a glass from the hostess, do not say that you know the value of it, and if you should break the article they can deduct the cost from your fee. It sounds a bide too independent.
4: When you enter the drawing room to do your show, do not go round and shake hands with the company. This might be taken for a piece of undue familiarity.
5: Do not say that if every trick is not properly applauded you will not continue your show. This would probably be considered a little out of place.
6: Presuming that you are doing a card trick and that a lady will not select the card you are attempting to force, do not swear at her. Swearing is not considered polite in society.
7: If your hands are too dry to palm properly, do not moisten them with saliva unless you turn your back upon the audience. It is possible that you might not be taken for a gentleman if you forget this rule.
8: When a bald-headed gentleman resents your producing eggs and cigars from his pate, do not tell him to keep his hair on. He might possibly expose one of your tricks later on.
9: If you bungle a trick and the audience notice it, do not explain the mistake by saying that you must be a fool. Possibly they might fall in with your belief.
10: If after the show, you should be asked to supper as a guest, accept the invitation politely and do not say that you have a better meal at home so can't stop. You might not get a return engagement.
11: Be very careful that you are not detected slipping any silver spoons or other nick-nacks into your pocket. If you are caught they might think that you were a bad conjurer, and it would be difficult to convince your hostess that it was all a joke.
12: If you fancy the lady sitting next to you has a better course than yourself, do not ask her if she would mind changing plates. Should you be able to secure two or three choice morsels from the dishes of your neighbours unobserved you might perhaps do so, but don't ask, as it looks greedy.
13: When asked what wine you would prefer, do not say "Small Bass." If you did you might be considered unused to dining with the upper ten.
14: Do not call the parlour-maid pet names, or engage her in conversation to the neglect of your hostess. Remember that you are getting a free meal and that it is your duty to listen to ladies talking.
15: Do not ask your host's man-servant to lend you half-a-crown to pay your cab fare home. The guests might not think you were a good coin catcher.
If the above rules are not attended to, do not forget that you were well advised to remember them.
I like the second one. Let's face it, we've all mistaken Earls for Flunkies at some point.....
