talkmagic.co.uk

Ive been browsing the internet as I so often do, and have recently come across more and more Michael Ammar jokes in the style of Chuck Norris jokes. ie. Michael Ammar is so amazing...etc.

I though a should share some - hopefully you can do the same.


When Michael Ammar does a half pass, he doesnt revolve the cards - he makes the universe revolve around him.

Micahel Ammar can do the 21 card trick with only 17 cards.

Micahel Ammar can grow his moustache at will.

Micahel Ammar can cull a whole countries population back into place.

Micahel Ammar can DL 52 cards.

Micahel Ammar can lap planet earth.

Micahel Ammar can do a vernon wand spin with no wand - or hand.

Micahel Ammar can do a version of the hot rod, where you dont spell anything!

Micahel Ammar doesnt palm cards - they simply cower when they see his hand coming.


Theres just a few - feel free to contribute.

I love in the Kostya Kimlat video where the cards are Faro'd half one half the other and KK asks him to cull them. And they're done in a second. Genius on both their behalfs.

Michael Ammar invented playing cards

Michael Ammar's eyes are quicker than your hands

Michael Ammar doesn't believe in Craig Browning

When Michael Ammar laughs, it's always at you, never with you

Michael Ammar is so cheesy his cards are made from Edam

Michael Ammar does sponge balls with rocks just to prove how hard he is

Michael Ammar is currently writing a book entitled 'Sleight of Moustache'

Trying to force a card on Michael Ammar is like trying to show Superman how to fly

Michael Ammar does sponge balls with rocks just to prove how hard he is

Trying to force a card on Michael Ammar is like trying to show Superman how to fly

Michael Ammar doesn't believe in Craig Browning

Pure Genius!



Thanks to

http://www.ammarfacts.com/


We have

Ammar doesn't read minds. He already knows.

Ammar doesn't read magic books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

It's called a Breather Crimp because Ammar allows it to.

Michael Ammar's long card measures nine and a half inches. Across.

Michael Ammar can do Mac King's fork in the eye trick. Without the creamer.

Michael Ammar will one day cure all known diseases as a kicker to a coins across routine.

When Ammar cuts to the aces - people die.

When Michael Ammar does card on ceiling, he does it outdoors.

Michael Ammar's name can be used to answer any trivia question.

Michael Ammar once challenged all known magicians to equal or beat his skill at magic. This tradition continues today. We know it as FISM.

Ammar once used his own head as a final load to his cups and balls routine.

Copperfield vanished it, but Michael Ammar can topit the Statue of Liberty.

Ammar has the greatest poker face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get Out of Jail Free Monopoly Card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades, and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Ammar doesn't cull cards. He just stares at the cards until they jump into the order he wants them to be.

When Ammar walks through a toy store, the coloring books color themselves magically.

Just to post but a few!

WOW! Ive found my new home page! Move over google!

Ammar has the greatest poker face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get Out of Jail Free Monopoly Card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades, and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Michael Ammar does 'Twisting the Aces' with Kings because he's Michael Ammar

Michael Ammar taught Jesus how to turn water into wine. I think it was on 'Easy to Master God-like Miracles volume 4'

Michael Ammar can fold a piece of paper more than 7 times

Michael Ammar once ate a shuffled deck of cards and brought them back up in factory-order

Michael Ammar invented the sun

Michael Ammar isn't bald - he's just got his hair palmed

Michael Ammar can do the 3 card monte with 1 card and a sausage

Michael Ammar doesn't do 'signed bill in lemon' - he does 'signed lemon in bill'

Michael Ammar is your dad, you just don't know it

MagicBill wrote:Michael Ammar can do the 3 card monte with 1 card and a sausage

I love it!!!

Michael Ammar tore up and restored an atom. This is known as the Chernobyl disaster.

When Mike Ammar is given an ID, he doesn't forget to take the cards out of the box before shuffling them.

At a young age, Michael Ammar actually witnessed four robbers enter a building in four separate locations and appear all together on the roof.

When Ammar makes the deck change color, he actually makes your eyes focus to filter certain color waves only.

Michael Ammar can center-deal from a sealed deck.

Michael Ammar can shuffle an Omni Deck.

The world blinks in unison when Ammar does a secret move.

Michael Ammar can do the ambitious card routine with one card.

The archangel Michael is named after Ammar.

Ammar amazed the doctors and his mother moments after birth with his "Cut and restored umbilical cord."

Every time Michael Ammar cries, a cherub on the back of a Bicycle card loses its wings.

Michael Ammar can shuffle an Omni Deck.

Genius.

Michael Ammar can perform an impromtu Hummer Card using one of his moustache hairs.

Michael Ammar once farted at a funeral, but used misdirection to avoid embarrassment.

Michael Ammar was actually booked to perform magic at the Last Supper, but declined as he didn't want to show Jesus up in front of his pals.

Michael Ammar thinks Ray Kosby is entertaining, witty and funny.

Michael Ammar was heckled by Teller when he was 10. He quickly told the young scamp to 'shut-up' and subsequently Teller never spoke again.

Michael Ammar's kids hate him because every time he picks up one of their coloring books it colors itself in.

Michael Ammar's deck disperses a gas that makes all his effects seem amazing AND funny.

Michael Ammar plans to outdo David Blaine by living in a glass box for 45 days... whilst doing continuous Elmsley counts with his feet.

Michael Ammar could explain the process of nuclear fusion and it would seem simple. He'd even do a superpractice session.

Michael Ammar is a special guest on his own DVDs.

You could take a crack whore to meet your grandmother, as long as they were introduced by Michael Ammar.

Michael Ammar's gentle chuckle makes the laughter of children sound like chainsaws.

Michael Ammar has the inner strength to camp out in a brewery and bring his own root beer.

Michael Ammar comes from a time when everyone knew what "club soda" was.

Michael Ammar's ability is directly related to the size of his moustache.

Michael Ammar can back-palm a Mercedes Benz

Michael Ammar once blocked one of Chuck Norris’s roundhouse kicks with an Elmsley Count

Michael Ammar actually owns 52 bicycles – and he can ride them all simultaneously whilst doing the cups and balls

Michael Ammar moonlights as a painter and decorator – he simply calls round and does the Erdnase color change on your walls

Michael Ammar gets a letter from Santa every year asking for his latest volume of Easy To Master Card Miracles. Sadly, Ammar is too busy having sex with your wife/girlfriend/husband to oblige.

Michael Ammar can speak 32 languages – at the same time – whilst performing the linking rings… underwater.

The Back To The Future movies are actually based on factual events Michael Ammar experienced whilst learning Paradox Aces.

Michael Ammar wears a thumb-tip concealing a Big Mac, large fries and strawberry milkshake just in case he gets hungry mid-performance.

Michael Ammar’s close-up mat is made from dinosaur hide.

As a kicker to his ambitious card routine, Michael Ammar will amputate your arm and load it in his himber wallet before you can say ‘I do the magic move’

Michael Ammar understands the end of Total Recall

Michael Ammar = mc2

In space Michael Ammar can hear you scream