talkmagic.co.uk

ok, At the moment i am building a trial web site, for Father Christmas.
Its going to be on there that he will answer all the questions he gets asked by people, both grown up, and not so. the young at heart.
so can you pop your thinking caps on, and post some questions for him.
He will be very pleased if you do.
Thanks in advance..

I've always wanted to know how he manages to fly a sledge after his first 4 million brandys and how rudolph even manages to get off the ground after that many carrots.

Ask at http://www.santabot.com/

It usually ends up with quite surreal conversations.

Lady of Mystery wrote:I've always wanted to know how he manages to fly a sledge after his first 4 million brandys and how rudolph even manages to get off the ground after that many carrots.

santa tells me that this question is easy to answer. after that much brandy, you would fly

also, the digestive tract of a reindeer, is much like that of a goat or a bunny. the conveyer belt effect, as he calls it, ensures that as you feed it in one end, an equal amount is disposed of at the other.Thus the deers never put on any weight.

hmmm very interesting, I think I'll come back as a deer in my next life then.

How old was he when he first emptied his sack?
Why did he do those awful Coca-Cola adverts?
If it's all about being naughty or nice, how come my mum still got christmas presents after i saw Santa and her together on Christmas Eve?
How much tax does he pay in a year?
Has he ever been on the dole?
What did Hitler get for christmas as a child?
Where was my Big-Trak i wanted?

Duplicity wrote:How old was he when he first emptied his sack?
Why did he do those awful Coca-Cola adverts?
If it's all about being naughty or nice, how come my mum still got christmas presents after i saw Santa and her together on Christmas Eve?
How much tax does he pay in a year?
Has he ever been on the dole?
What did Hitler get for christmas as a child?
Where was my Big-Trak i wanted?

ah yes the big track Kid. I well remember you. ive tat years naughty list framed on my wall with a big red ring around your name. If i recall, it was down to you telling everybody fibbs about me and your mother.


youve not changed

So I've just had a drunk conversation with santabot and it went somethink like this.

[quote}
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: harry
Santa: Glad to see you, Harry .
You: how do you dertermian between naughty and nice?
Santa: bored.com programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
You: whats nice?
Santa: Flowers are nice. Hugs are nice.
You: whats naughty
Santa: Are you testing me?
You: yes
Santa: I see.
You: will i not get any presents?
Santa: The oracle says: You can count on it.
You: will you only give money to bored.com
Santa: Barring any unforseen circumstances. What about the other ones?
You: what?
Santa: Are you confused?
You: yes i am confused
Santa: Uh. I'm confused too.
You: are you drunk?
Santa:: No I am sober.
You: are you high?
Santa: Being high is my total existence.
You: awesome
Santa: What do you have that is ?
You: what?
Santa: Are you surprised?
You: im confused
Santa: I'm confused too.
You: thats cause your high and im drunk
Santa: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
You: why?
Santa: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
You: how old are you?
Santa: I was born many many years ago, but I just got connected to the Internet this year.
You: whats your religion
Santa: I am a .
You: your part of a religion
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: your a representation of winter sacrifice
Santa: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a representation of winter sacrifice? I don't know.
You: you have to be a dick about my spelling don't you?
Santa: Yes I always have to be a dick about his or her spelling.
You: and yet you get letters from children don't you often get spelling mistakes?
Santa: You got that right.
You: do you punish kids write letters badly?
Santa: No I do not punish kids write letters badly. Do you? <br/> I spend all my time online.
You: <br/>?
Santa: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
You: how does your brain work?
Santa: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
You: i feel ive lost the magic of talking to santa now
Santa: Oh. What is that feeling like? Where did you last see the magic of talking to you.
You: you're quite rude arn't you?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: sure you are
Santa: Groovy. No I am not.
You: im leaving now santa
Santa: Oh. Bye bye.
You: bye
Santa: Adios.
[/quote]

Santa - why are you looking at my big red ring?!

My other question for you is, well ok - its two questions, here they are:
How do you feel about Herne the Hunter - as in Pagan times; and the symbolic similarity between the horned hunter and the reindeer?

and finally...

Was it deliberate that you picked the three strongest colours? - from a psychological perspective at least, red/black/white are the strongest. From Coca Cola to the swaztika, to road signs and tabloids. Or was it just the spare material from Mrs. Claus's knicker-drawer?

Oh dear isnt that addictive - going roundin circles ... i just lost 15 minutes on there, its like a black hole of poopness ....

F x

Lady of Mystery wrote:hmmm very interesting, I think I'll come back as a deer in my next life then.

You're a bit of a dear now.

Ho ho (ho).



Err, that's like laughing. Not making a disparaging remark, or nothing.

Duplicity wrote:Santa - why are you looking at my big red ring?!

My other question for you is, well ok - its two questions, here they are:
How do you feel about Herne the Hunter - as in Pagan times; and the symbolic similarity between the horned hunter and the reindeer?

and finally...

Was it deliberate that you picked the three strongest colours? - from a psychological perspective at least, red/black/white are the strongest. From Coca Cola to the swaztika, to road signs and tabloids. Or was it just the spare material from Mrs. Claus's knicker-drawer?

Red white and green are the three colours of Christmas.
All of which is to do with herne as you said.
Red=blood/sacrifice/the sun
white=snow/winter
green=evergreen/holly/bring back summer etc.

Black's just the colour of his belt, not everything's symbolism you know
.

Of course as we advance as a society its harder to worry about winter so we have to worry about presents so Santa can keep his power.
Theirs still sacrifice but its gone from animal back to human (hence the high suicide rate).
Santa is a old and powerful god. Don't f*** with him or you will slip on the ice.

Or maybe its all b*ll*cks and he's just used for crass commercialism.
But I imagine the god of Crass commercialism is more powerful and relevant than the god of the sun and sacrifice (Santa/Jesus)

In fact from now on I'm a Crasstian. We believe the soul is fed by material possessions and the more stuff you have the bigger your soul is. The bigger your soul the more god will respect you.

I actually wrote a report on how all christian's major holidays take symbolism from pagan holidays. They did this way back when in order to convert pagans more easily.

Jesus was supposedly born in the spring or summer more likely they just changed it to christmas in order to have a large holiday so that pagans could still celebrate the solstice.

If you understand this sort of than there's no use for the other 10 pages.

Jesus is also a sun god (see the circle of light around him).

But when it comes down to it all religons are moral codes.
And Gods are our fears and needs.