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I tend to giggle a lot...like just now when this old man driving a very lovely jag looked at my bits ...I could hardly move for laughing!! Unfortunatley I have a laugh like Jeremy Clarkson...so not very lady-like, just very, very cheeky

Ho ho.. Did you make his monocle pop out?

flashman wrote:Ho ho.. Did you make his monocle pop out?

OMG im not sure if it is intended this way or if it is my dirty nasty mind that makes me think so but thats just hahaha

nice one

Sophie wrote:Tanned is ok...but god have you seen the orange!!!!! Its so funny when it turns that colour

Yeah it's like there Dad slept with a wotsit, sorry couldn't resist.

For me it has to be natural I hate makeup that stuff comes directly from the devil himself, I also think about 90% of woman ruin themselves with makeup it makes them look worse 5% of woman look ok with a little bit on and has for the other 5% they should just be exported Just my opinion.

How do I like my Women?

Male, average build, 30 to 40 years in age

Truthfully, I have many female friends and have had two very special relationships with women (non-sexual) that I'll always cherish. But I just couldn't pass up making the above pun, given the title of the topic.

Personally I like women who have a tan that looks like they've just been on a 2 week holiday to Chernobyl.... or maybe they have an Oompaloompa somewhere in the family gene pool..

I like them with a great *rse,wicked sense of humour (as in evil and not as in street kid wicked...boshak ka kaaaa ) intelligent & nice eyes......oh did i say a great *rse?

In liverpool i see many an Oompaloompa going about their daily lives,i just wonder what kind of mirror they are using I must admit thou when out and about in clubland its hard to notice their orange radiation glow.....what with all the flashing lights,strobes and drugs till you get outside and the fresh air hits ya...and its like... .....then ya think oh well....For england caffa...yes for england and proceed to disapear into the dark shadow of the night.................well she did have a good *rse on her

As for fingernails real or false...im just glad that she has fingers fullstop..anything else is a bonus!!

I worked with a tour bus driver and he recalled a true story that happened to him.

Whilst away working he ended up going to see a lady of the night in a famous street in germany.

A few months later and back at home he started suffering from very bad stomach pains and his concerned girlfriend was worried as he would wake in the night with terrible pains n such not being to go to the toilet properly

She insisted that he went to the doctors and that she would come along for moral support,they went the doctors and after explaing symptons the doctor ask to perform a rectum examination on him to check inside what was happening.

The guy never minded his girlfriend being there,didnt think that she would leave anyways also not worth the hassel of a 3rd degree on why she had to leave the room! and allowed the doctor to do his examination.

After some poking & proding..oh and a healthy dose of lube
the doctors says Ahha..i see the problem and with forceps pulled out a 3 inch false purple fingernail from u know where and showed it to him and then his girlfriend!

His girlfriend exclaimed " I dont wear false nails and i HATE the colour Purple!!!! It was all over from that moment he told me as i spat out my mouthfull of vodka and coke out all over his cab windscreen.

The lady of the night that he had visited a few months ago was wearing a skimpy outfit and big long Purple false fingernails!!!!!

must be a moral of a story in there somewhere

wow this post has been very anal fixated did i mention i like a good *rse on a woman?

Sorry ladies im not a male pig or anything,its just barriers that i put up..that you will have to breakdown if you want to find the real me

My name is Sandy, and I have an addiction to Gingers.

There you go, I've said it. I feel much better already, liberated even.

Natural all the way for me, particularly with nails, I hate nail varnish. I'm not a huge fan of the slap either to be honest. I've always been drawn to natural looking girls, and that's what I prefer.

Ideal woman? Ginger, Irish, quite petite, with a wicked sense of humour, laid back to the point of falling alseep.

Ahh, gingers...mmmmmmm.

Sophie wrote:I tend to giggle a lot...like just now when this old man driving a very lovely jag looked at my bits

You had them on show?! Sophie, I think "bits" implies something very different over here...!

Natural doesn't necessarily mean no make up, and being able to apply make-up "naturally" I think is massive plus point for any girl - someone who's already beautiful can look absolutely stunning with just a few touches here and there

For instance, our natural beauty lovin' Iain has a thing for Sharleen Spitari (who is beautiful, there's no denying it). But Iain - I'd wager an awful lot that you have never seen her without make-up!

No...I didnt have my bits on show!!! I had a t-shirt on...but you know a woman knows where a mans eyes are looking!!! And errrrrrrrrrrm well he was looking

What I mean is, if a girl over here referred to her "bits", it would tend to indicate a part of the anatomy that isn't usually covered by a t-shirt...

Farlsborough wrote:What I mean is, if a girl over here referred to her "bits", it would tend to indicate a part of the anatomy that isn't usually covered by a t-shirt...

Unless it's one of Snuffy's t-shirts.

"With a shirt like this, who needs pants?"

Indeed

How Do You Like Your Women?!

I like my women like I like my coffee...imported from latin America and served in large cups.