by mark lewis » May 5th, '11, 03:09
I cannot resist it. I wrote about Scientology in my memoirs "The Lives of a Showman". It involves Jolly Roger who is a member here but long ago deserted us. No doubt he will return once he finds he is being talked about.
Here is the relevant excerpt. It all happened at the Mind, Body and Spirit exhibition in London many, many years ago.
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Then there were the Scientologists who had a stand at the exhibition. Many readers will know that this is a very controversial group who call themselves a “religion” and their critics call them something else that is a trifle less saintly.
They had massive signs on their stand proclaiming that Scientology promoted clear thinking. This statement proved to be at the core of the incident I am about to relate.
Roger was an excellent Svengali demonstrator and he had gathered a large crowd around him. In the crowd was a visitor from the scientology booth who was having a break from his duties. Unfortunately, he had committed an unpardonable sin for which he was about to be reprimanded. The chap was smoking and to Roger this was the end of civilisation as we know it.
He stopped his demonstration cold and stared at the offender, saying, “Excuse me, sir. I see that you are a scientologist. Is this correct?” The chap could hardly deny it since he was wearing a scientology t-shirt. He answered in the affirmative. Roger then continued, “May I ask you a question about Scientology?” The smoking scientologist warily replied, “Yes, of course. Go ahead.” Roger then enquired, “Is it true that Scientology promotes clear thinking?” I awaited the response with baited breath but wondered what on earth this had to do with the sale of Svengali decks. The fellow answered, “Yes. It does indeed”
There was rather a large crowd witnessing this exchange and I was wondering where it was going to go. I didn’t have to wait long to find out because Roger then enquired, “If Scientology promotes clear thinking why are you smoking? Smoking is not a way to promote clear thinking. How can you think clearly if you smoke?” The poor chap was quite dumbfounded and dreadfully embarrassed to be singled out among the crowd and mumbled something or other. Roger then went on a rampage against the poor chap and nearly reduced him to a bumbling, quivering wreck. Roger railed against the evils of smoking and gave the cowed Scientologist a dreadful tongue lashing.
The poor chap who was just minding his own business watching a card trick, had not expected to be verbally assaulted by a raging anti-smoking fanatic who did card tricks and talked in a posh upper class British accent. Roger again demanded the fellow explain to the now greatly amused crowd how he could smoke and at the same time espouse Scientology which promoted clear thinking. The fellow certainly didn’t show much of the aforementioned clear thinking when being bombarded by Roger’s aggressive questioning and weakly said, “If you are that interested come back to my stand later and I will explain it to you” Roger wasn’t satisfied with this and demanded, “No. Why don’t you explain it now?” I was now beginning to wonder where all this was taking us and I could see all the potential Svengali deck sales going down the tube. The unhappy Scientologist declined to explain himself to Roger and in fact very wisely decided to scamper hurriedly back to his stand never to come near us again.
Roger then continued with his demonstration and needless to say, nobody purchased a single thing. Nevertheless, he certainly presented a devastating case against smoking and Scientology being compatible with each other.