talkmagic.co.uk

Could have been worse if you were a proctologist

greedoniz wrote:Could have been worse if you were a proctologist

Too... many... crude... responses...

Well, here I come to slot away the consolation goal (sort of). I incorporated a magic trick into my wedding speech and one of my wife's friends said it was the best groom's speech she had ever seen. While I took that comment with the necessary pinch of salt, she has a weekend job supplying things like chair covers to weddings, so she's heard a fair few speeches.

The thing was, I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and the trick was specifically invented by me to emphasise aspects of marriage (and I don't mean two cards fusing together). There were all sorts of little themes relating to the big event and random things turned out to be highly relevant. The main point was that my trick initially went wrong (it's not all about me), but the decisions freely made by my wife shaped everything (married men will understand the deeper significance here, I suspect...). It probably still sounds a bit egotistical, but it worked in context (or so people said). My wife likes magic and I made a big effort to create something that enhanced the day, rather than detracted from it. She thought it was great, and really she's the one who counts. If your other half would hate it, drop the idea. If you do not know whether she would hate it, consider dropping the wedding.

In my experience, you can add magic to a groom's speech, but I urge you to try for some deeper significance (and I don't mean some boring, heavy-handed schmaltz either). Just bunging in a fairly common card trick that people might have seen at other weddings doesn't cut it, in my opinion.

The other thing is that it cannot replace the speech. You still need to do all the usual stuff. As A_n_t says, the groom mainly thanks everybody and says how lovely his bride looks. I did a couple of light jokes, but that sort of thing is best left to the best man.

To me, reading someone else's poem is almost as bad as doing someone else's trick (but then I'm not bad at poetry, so I'd have been comfortable writing something for myself, had I wanted). While it might be sweet or whatever, everyone's experience of love is different and I think you should find the voice in your own heart.

Incidentally, I am not in favour of magic tricks when proposing; that moment cannot be enhanced by anything. A potential snooze-fest (and let's be honest, many speeches are) is a bit different, but the key is "enhance".

Part-Timer wrote:The main point was that my trick initially went wrong (it's not all about me), but the decisions freely made by my wife shaped everything (married men will understand the deeper significance here, I suspect...).

I should probably point out that this was a joke. The actual underlying themes were that my wife and I are stronger together than we are apart, and that we were meant to be together.

Lady of Mystery wrote:I'm totally with everyone else, avoid the magic trick and instead give a nice speech. If my husband had done a magic trick at our wedding, I'd have throttled him.

You could have followed up with cut and restored larynx.

I guarantee you that if you're not a lovely dovey person but you stand up on your wedding day and tell your new wife in as heartfelt and emotionally honest way possible how much you love her, you will get a response from the room, and more importantly your wife, that you will never be able to achieve with a magic trick and she will never forget it. It doesn't have to be eloquent or witty or slushy, just honest. She and every other woman in the room will be crying their eyes out and you'll get a massive cheer from all the men.

Doing a magic trick could never live up to that and would just appear contrived and a cop out.

I've realised that I missed out something very important: I met my wife through magic (sort of), so it had a particular significance for us as a couple, and I mentioned this in my speech.

And the other important thing was that I cleared it with her first!

So, on balance, I think you're better off sticking to the usual speech unless you can come up with something that is both exceptional and highly relevant (and, as others have said, maybe not even then).

I was going to say that the AW would be okay as a separate thing (as it'll be hard for the rest of the guests to appreciate it, it really does work best with a smaller audience) but then I thought about it and I don't think it's a good idea at all.

Anniversary Waltz works nicely with two people because it happens in their hands at the end and the souvenir will be theirs, far away from you, to remind them of it. If you're one of the two people, then the magic happens in YOUR hands as well as hers, which immediately detracts. Additionally if she's marrying a magician she'll either already know or will some day discover a DF card and will see the souvenir as "that time you tricked her on her wedding day" not "that time you bent time and space with your love".

A good effect to do at a wedding for a loved one requires a little setup and some nitinol wire. Surrounded by flowers and candles, at the end of the speech, you could do an effect I first saw done by Paul Zenon, where the main bouquet is held together with a wire, the wire can be wrapped around the flowers for the entire dinner, then after the speech, you pull the wire off the flowers as if it was an afterthought, gently touch it to the candle flame and have it turn into a heart or flower shape, or even her name if you can make one up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7ymLRjBjz4" target="_blank

http://www.grand-illusions.com/acatalog/Nitinol.html" target="_blank

It's quick, it's something to give to her and it can be part of the speech, not the focus of it.

-Stacy

The4thCircle wrote:I was going to say that the AW would be okay as a separate thing (as it'll be hard for the rest of the guests to appreciate it, it really does work best with a smaller audience) but then I thought about it and I don't think it's a good idea at all.

Anniversary Waltz works nicely with two people because it happens in their hands at the end and the souvenir will be theirs, far away from you, to remind them of it. If you're one of the two people, then the magic happens in YOUR hands as well as hers, which immediately detracts. Additionally if she's marrying a magician she'll either already know or will some day discover a DF card and will see the souvenir as "that time you tricked her on her wedding day" not "that time you bent time and space with your love".

A good effect to do at a wedding for a loved one requires a little setup and some nitinol wire. Surrounded by flowers and candles, at the end of the speech, you could do an effect I first saw done by Paul Zenon, where the main bouquet is held together with a wire, the wire can be wrapped around the flowers for the entire dinner, then after the speech, you pull the wire off the flowers as if it was an afterthought, gently touch it to the candle flame and have it turn into a heart or flower shape, or even her name if you can make one up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7ymLRjBjz4" target="_blank" target="_blank

http://www.grand-illusions.com/acatalog/Nitinol.html" target="_blank" target="_blank

It's quick, it's something to give to her and it can be part of the speech, not the focus of it.

-Stacy

Hmmmmm....you've got the cogs in my brain turning.........think it's safe to say that my initial idea was a fairly awful one judging by the responses on here, but this may be a little more subtle. ta.

In most cases, wives and girlfriends "put up" with and tolerate our magic. Let her have her day, just once, without it.
Bruce

BrucUK wrote:In most cases, wives and girlfriends "put up" with and tolerate our magic. Let her have her day, just once, without it.
Bruce

That may be the case for you (and I have to admit, myself too) but as has been pointed out some folk are lucky enough to have partners who love a bit of magic in the relationship (so to speak). We can't speak for anyone else's other halves.

Only Cartorious knows how this will go down.

-Stacy

Which is why I said "most", (purely going on my experience, and talking to those "other halves").
Perhaps "many" or "a fair %"
He has to choose of course.
Bruce

I'm with Bruce. You can see most partner's eyes glazing over when a deck of cards come out. Unfortunately close-up workers seem to have been born without the radar that the rest of us have, so are unable to notice this.

The4thCircle wrote:

BrucUK wrote:In most cases, wives and girlfriends "put up" with and tolerate our magic. Let her have her day, just once, without it.
Bruce

That may be the case for you (and I have to admit, myself too) but as has been pointed out some folk are lucky enough to have partners who love a bit of magic in the relationship (so to speak). We can't speak for anyone else's other halves.

Only Cartorious knows how this will go down.

-Stacy

In all fairness, with hindsight, lead balloons do spring to mind.

If however she learnt an effect for you that would be special.