Festive thoughts......

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Festive thoughts......

Postby Mandrake » Dec 17th, '11, 20:19




    Please, take care of yourself during the Festive Season. A recent joint study conducted by the
    Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23%
    of traffic accidents are alcohol related. This means that the remaining
    77% are caused by the @ssholes who drink bottled water, Starbucks, soda,
    juice, energy drinks and stuff like that.

    Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times
    as many accidents. This message is sent to you by someone who is a drinker
    and worries about your safety :wink: .


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Re: Festive thoughts......

Postby Lawrence » Dec 17th, '11, 20:49

..............Dude............................

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Re: Festive thoughts......

Postby Alec Burns » Dec 18th, '11, 03:38

Brilliant! :lol:

I may have been born yesterday but I stayed up all night.
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Re: Festive thoughts......

Postby Stephen Ward » Dec 18th, '11, 09:25

Image

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Re: Festive thoughts......

Postby The4thCircle » Dec 18th, '11, 15:13

Damn. I think I'll have a drink right now, just to be on the safe side.

-Stacy

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Re: Festive thoughts......

Postby Mandrake » Dec 18th, '11, 15:49

Dragging an old tale into it.....

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my
wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or
else... just to please her, as I always do, I said I would and proceeded with
the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the
contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then
withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the
exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third
bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the
cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the
glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and
drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the
sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I
corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted
the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were
twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I
had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I'm not under the
affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as
you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the
drunker I stand here, the longer I get - but I do feel very safe!

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Re: Festive thoughts......

Postby Lawrence » Dec 18th, '11, 19:39

The4thCircle wrote:Damn. I think I'll have a drink right now, just to be on the safe side.

-Stacy



Erm... Can we NOT promote drink driving on here please?
Anyone who drinks and drives is an idiot and potential murderer*!

This thread offends me... and not just as a mathematician


*edit: technically anyone behind the wheel of a care is a potential murderer I guess but a tad more so in the case of drunkards

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Re: Festive thoughts......

Postby Discombobulator » Dec 18th, '11, 20:24

So is there anything you can do safely in a car ?

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Re: Festive thoughts......

Postby The4thCircle » Dec 18th, '11, 21:11

I never said I was going to drive anywhere. Other than a bracing walk just now, I haven't left the house all day :)

-Stacy

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Re: Festive thoughts......

Postby Ant » Dec 18th, '11, 21:41

Do not drive tired either!

I almost killed myself and family this evening by losing concentration at the wheel for literally half second, I then did what I should have done as soon as I realised I was tired - instructed my wife to drive (I know she is a woman but overall I evaluated it to be less dangerous... :D)

If you're coming home late from somewhere and feel too tired to drive, then do not drive. We have to keep our members up after all.

"The most important thing is not to stop questioning."
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Re: Festive thoughts......

Postby Mandrake » Dec 18th, '11, 21:55

:? It goes without saying that neither I personally nor TM as an entity condone or promote drinking to excess or even in moderation when driving or other risky processes requiring a clear head and intelligent thought are involved. In keeping with the fun of the festive season, the original and subsequent posts were intended to be light hearted, humorous and poking fun at how ‘facts’ can be used to support daft conclusions, nothing more; nothing less so please let’s not read into it any more than was intended.

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