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In view of the current coronavirus situation, I called on my elderly neighbour this morning to see if he was OK. He came to the door wrapped in fibreglass wool and bubble wrap. Silly sod thought he had to self insulate!

(Topical if not funny!)

Hahaha!

Weirdly I think self insulating may help, so they say.
I say bathe in whisky every day and you'll be fine. It works for me so far. Antibacterial hand scurb desn't work on a virus but it does contain alcohol which breaks down the menbrane of a virus cell so can't be bad. Stay safe everyone and just drink a f'k load of spirits and nothing can live in your body when you're prematurely pickled and mumified.

Know what goes great with Coronavirus?...

Lyme disease!

I was told that the alcohol content of a hand sanitizer needs to be 60 degree or, better still, 70 degree proof. On that basis most spirits on sale won't help as they are around 40 or so. However, I find taking the booze internally helps when self isolated, after three or four large ones the time just seems to pass very quickly!!

There's a new cocktail for the self isolated, it's called a Quarantini. It's the same as an ordinary martini but you just drink it on your own....

Hey Bud, I heard they Brewed up the Coronavirus Tequila bunch of people, which hurts us all at our Coors.
But everyone always Hops to these conclusions. I can Barley stand it.
Word on the street is that China is now free of the Panda-monium so looking good. I'm not Wine-ing, I'm on the bright side.

And the groan of the week award goes to... (see above!)

Yey! Do I win a prize? Oh...groan.

I went to one of those 'adult' parties recently, walked in, threw my car keys into the bowl on the table. Completely ruined the trifle....

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

My wife just asked an elderly neighbour if they needed anything from the shop...
They asked for a Daily Mail...
Truly testing times.

Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.

MrCat wrote:Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.

Funny and soooo true at the same time.

When we get out of this lock down, there gonna be a mass exodus to the salons etc

Moonbeam, I'm gonna milk this for humour like a crazy thing so make sure you have many changes of pants....That is all.

We're 13 days in to self isolation and it's killing me to see my wife standing at the window gazing aimlessly in to space with tears running down her cheeks...
Don't get me wrong, I totally feel it and empathize and all, I've considered letting her in many times but rules are rules.