by aporia » Jan 20th, '06, 16:15
no names, but this might help you ...
You wanna see a card trick?
- No, really. It's a story.
- Move over.
Go ahead, move over.
I'm gonna tell you a story...
...about Joe and the bartender.
Bartender says:
"You know, business has been slow, Joe.
I was wondering if you could get four
buddies to drink at my bar.
I'll give you $2."
Joe goes, "I could use money."
So Joe goes out. Cut the cards.
Cut the cards.
I'll cut them for you. So Joe goes out.
And Joe's gone five. He's gone 10.
He's gone 15.
He's gone 20. He's gone 26 minutes.
And he comes back huffing
and puffing and says:
"Here's your four guys to drink at your bar."
Bartender goes, "There's $2."
They're sitting there talking. Bartender goes,
"These four guys are lonely.
Go get four girls to drink with the four guys.
I'll give you $2."
Joe goes, "That's easy.
I got lots of girlfriends."
So Joe goes out. Cut the cards.
Go ahead. That's right.
Okay. I'll do it. So Joe goes out.
And Joe's gone five. He's gone 10.
He's gone 15.
He's gone 17 minutes
and comes back huffing and puffing.
He says, "There's your four girls
to drink with the four guys."
Bartender says, "There's $2. It took you
so long to get the girls, the guys left.
So do me one last favor. Go get
four more guys, two cases of whiskey...
...change for two 20s. I'll give you $2.
Last time I send you out."
Joe goes, "Sure, but I don't wanna
go out anymore."
So cut the cards.
Go ahead.
Okay. I'll cut them again.
So Joe goes out,
and this time, Joe hurries back.
He's gone five. He's gone 10.
He's gone 15 minutes.
And he comes back and says:
"There's your four drinking buddies, your
two cases of whiskey and your change."
Bartender goes, "There's $2. Thanks."
They're talking.
Bartender goes, "Are you a family man?"
Joe goes, "Sure am. I've got seven kids."
Bartender goes, "I got seven kids.
That's great, Joe. How old are you?"
"Well, I'm 67. My wife, she says she's 55.
She's really 65."
"That's great.
Joe, are you a gambling man?"
"I sure am. I play at the 96 Club
on 42nd Street.
The other night I won $499.
My partner had a full house.
Which usually wins, but I said,
'Not this time, sucker.
I got a straight flush."'
I have another magic trick for you.
Wanna see me make
all the white people disappear?