No Delude...
Well done Magic Discoman and Dat (credit where credit is due I think)
Recipe For One Well Aged Haunted Key
Ingredients:
1 Sparkly silver haunted key.
1 Jar of pickled something (onions, gherkins, heads etc).
1 Garden or plantpot of soil (for vampiric key use soil from it's homeland).
1 Wire brush/sandpaper.
Some water.
Plenty of Patience.
How to make:
1: Eat the pickles, but don't drink the vinegar.
2: Lovingly marianade the sparkly key in the jar of vinegar for about one week (applying liberal amounts of patience).
3: Once the key is looking a little pitted, remove from vinegar and wash.
4: Scrub small areas vigorously with the wire brush, then repeat this on small areas of the key
5: Bury the key in the soil (forgetting where you put it). Leave for one week (applying liberal amounts of patience).
6: Respond to a request asking how the key is coming along and spend half an hour to forty five minutes hunting in the soil for it.
7: After finding it, breath sigh of relief, wash and bury once more for one to two more weeks (depending on taste) remembering to mark where you put it this time.
8: Apply liberal amounts of patience.
9: Remove from soil, wash and bask in the glorious thrill of deliberately tarnishing a perfectly decent object.
