talkmagic.co.uk

Right - need advice. after talking to other people all I have got is "its a phase" which, in my view, is a pretty s*** response to be honest.

There is a guy I know, have known his for years, always been a great mate.

Recently we have been growing apart - thats all fair enough, we all do it. But now I have found he has been dabbling with drugs for the last year - small stuff like cannabis, but hey, there is a first rung to every ladder.

I know he would take the "harder" stuff like ecstacy if it were to be offered which could cause him to be in the s*** to be blunt.

He could become psychologically dependent and stuff...he does it every week and, for all I know, every day. HE is, to be blunt, a sheep.

Now, he is a smart guy (though obviously quite stupid - oh the irony) - nearly straight As at GCSE, same again at AS Level, yet he may end up throwing it away to be "cool".

Now I know some of you will just be saying "come on mate - it is only cannabis" but think to yourself - there are negative effects of it - one being schitzophrenia if I remember correctly. Furthermore, if anything else was offered, he would take it, afraid of looking "uncool".

He is smart, yet could end up completely screwing his brain up because of it all.

Any advice on what to do? If i were to talk to him, what would I say? Talk to someone else? Talk to his girlfriend? Gah - I dunno?

It kinda stresses me out - bloody conforming b*****...

Speak to a pro in confidence and thentake their advice on how to handle it. They are trained and deal with this every day.

Good luck - he doesn't know how lucky he is to have a mate who cares. Those who he thinks are his mates and who are giving him this s*** are little more than leaches.

Far from being harmless, regular use of this 'recreational' drug has been linked to serious psycological problems. I can't give you the specifics but at worst people have killed themselves or even other people after periods of regular use. I'm an ambulance technician and I'v seen it. Search google and find loads of newspaper reports on such tradgedies.

As for other 'recreational' drugs i can also vouch. Two years ago, i covered an event called 'Bloodstock' (a rock music festival) when we got a casualty brought in high on canabis and around 10 ecstacy pills. We rushed him by air ambulance (helicopter) to the nearest hospital. He was resusitated and was on life support for a few weeks but he survived....

Last year I covered exactly the same event (as its held yearly). I was shocked to find exactly the same patient brought to me. This time with canabis and over 20 ecstacy tablets in his blood. He died. As much as it breaks my heart to lose a patient, some just dont appreciate a second chance


When i studied A Levels several years ago, i saw a study that confirmed for every year of canabis use (2/3 times per week) approximatly 16% of your brain cells can be perminantly lost. The brother of one of my friends uses it every day and after 10 years its pretty noticable that his brains not what it was. Its a shame to throw away your whole mind or even your life on such a thing.

so basically...just in time for University...that boy needs a good kicking...

to have brains like his was be amazing...yet I'd be happy to have what I have now if that is what is gonna happen to him..........

I don't know if it is the way I was brought up (possibly not, me dad used to smoke), because I am really into psychology (so know about a load of the side effects personality and brain-wise) or whether or not I am just lucky. Either way, I think he is (for lack of better word...here up Rodney!) a plonker

once a smoker, always a smoker, you can't convince thease people that its bad for them.
look at regular smokers who are told day in and day out that smoking kill's you, sientificly proven fact, but they will tell you that there the one percent that won't get adicted or get brain damage.
bottom line they wan't to do it, they enjoy it, and they don't care about the conseqences.

you can try to persuade your friend he's making the biggest mistake of his life and may as well go straight onto methanfetamine's and realy screw his life up, but unless he wants to give it up he won't.

drugs are bad m'kay.

To be completely blunt just talking to someone in that position is not going to achieve anything unless they want to pack in.

I work providing psychotherapy and counselling services and prior to that was with the SS (Social Services) at a reasonable level. Through that I have met a number of folk with various addictions. The addiction itself is often not the actual problem but a symptom. Cannabis can cause severe long term damage but its most damaging effect is that it so often does lead people on towards 'just trying' the next drug along and so a swift and damaging decent begins.

Best advice is for you to contact one of the helplines, tell them the situation and they will give you ideas as to what you may or may not decide is worth pursuing. There are ways in which, as a friend, you may be able to help but be warned that your intervention may not be welcomed. Don't let that put you off getting in contact with one of the helplines though.

These may be of interest:

FRANK http://www.talktofrank.com 0800 776600 0808 800 2222 (for parents)

Narcotics Anonymous http://www.ukna.org or http://www.na.org 0845 373 3366

http://www.turning-point.co.uk

http://www.drugscope.org.uk

thing is though, taking the personalisation out of it all...i hope you all chase down your friends for drinking too much too..and smoking...

especially the booze...ruins more lives than all the drugs put together...

legal drugs are fine, beer and fags...they're both ok! but oh noooooo, not the illegal ones...

but it's also a fine line, cannabis and such doesnt effect everyone the same way, just as one pint doesnt make the drinker a raging alkie...if it's in them to be addicted, they will be...and if it wasnt one thing, it'll be something else...

but he should be grateful he has a good mate...

perhaps the guy is under pressure from family or even himself? perhaps that's why he zonks out most days? too much of anything is bad for you at the end of the day though...

Well as a Doctors son (and who hopes to study medicine in the near future) I have to agree with the hotlines.

In my opinion, if all else fails (Which I'm sure it won't) you have to rely on empathy, so to speak. You have to place himself in your shoes. Maybe he is shutting himself off socially because he may think that people have no idea of what he is going through?

As you said, he is a bright boy - but that could also be the crux of the matter. Many people turn to drugs in times of stress (exams) and I know - unfortuently - one or two people who smoke cannabis and get A*'s in a subject such as chemistry.

As I'm sure anyone else will tell you, one of the best things to do is not to 'force' him to stop doing it all together. The addiction is incredibly insane, and there is very, very little chance that he will give it up in a day.

If you talk to the people who 'hang' out with him, you could discuss why he is taking the drugs. Peer Pressure is the worst form of getting hooked onto these drugs. If you find out that he is doing it to look cool, it is essential that you talk to his friends about it - in my opinion. Sometimes there can be a barrier between him and his parents. My thought is that if his friends got him hooked on it, they can get him off it. It's just a matter of diplomacy in my opinion.

I hoped that helped,

Mr Ben

I for one completely agree with Abraxus here and also think that there is a factor of over reaction here.
Firstly as someone who has done recreational drugs, had a great time, had some bad times and dont dont do it anymore I can say that I think your friend is just experimenting.
Also to judge his activites by your standards of what drugs are ok while you chug on a beer is slightly hypocritical too.
Fair enough if he is smoking everyday and spending his entire day stoned off his brain then maybe you should have a word or hede the advice above but if he is having the odd one here and there socially I see no more harm than someone going out and having a few beers.
I am not saying by any means that what he is doing is safe either but almost everyone has vices all of which have a negative impact on your health be it cigarettes, alcohol, junk food etc.
I have many friends who have and still do drugs and lead very productive, normal lives and dabble recreationally and enjoy it. I also have one or two friends who have had problems; one an alcoholic.
Before I waffle on too much I will just say have a sense of perspective and before getting all high and mighty about what you see as unacceptable or dangerous realise that not all people see the world in that light. I for one would rather see alcohol banned than cannabis...based on my experience with both drugs.

Either way I wish your friend and anyone who uses any vice(legal or illegal) to do so with care and moderation.

Well said greedoniz. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt myself.

It's oh so easy to blame the substance and peers, but the only real cause of the problem (if there is one) is his attitude to life and to himself. The drugs have nothing to do with it.

And saying things like "This time with canabis and over 20 ecstacy tablets in his blood. He died." is just ludicrous.
It's like saying "He'd been flicked around the ears a bit, and repeatedly stabbed in the chest. He died.

BB,

I've been there too with my ex-fella, best thing I can think of is just be there for him, dont try to patronise him as he may just run away. Sure a little cannibas doesn't seem to cause too much of an issue, but just watch him, try and help him, and maybe he will simply grow out of it when he is ready to deal with the world again.

Love and hugs x

I'm with Abraxus, Greedoniz and Beeno on this one.

I'll not start ranting whats right and wrong but can we remember the phrase "He without sin cast the first stone".

Beard I'd say if your really worried then stick by him and have a quiet word that you don't like what he is doing. Then you pair could maybe have a talk to see what he says.

But also remember that your coming to an age were people will experiment and also friends can fall apart due to numerous reasons, basically the pair of you are growing up.

I guess its up to the pair of you were you go from here really.

I'm not saying that I'm perfect...more this is something that I have never understood, not ever wanting to smoke fags or do drugs meself. After seeing some of the effects, I'm just worried is all

thats fair enough mate...just don't paint another man's world with your own palette as it were..he might be fine and just having a break from it all...

but if you're worried, just tell 'im you're worried about him..no harm in that...if he was injecting the stuff i'd be worried, but if he's just having a few weeks break and not dabbling in anything else too hard then, well, you can only say "hey, im worried about you mate..." once or twice...

or just kick him in the nadgers...

beeno wrote:
And saying things like "This time with canabis and over 20 ecstacy tablets in his blood. He died." is just ludicrous.
It's like saying "He'd been flicked around the ears a bit, and repeatedly stabbed in the chest. He died.

As a matter of fact, it isnt ludicrous and I consider that an insult. Don't insult my professional knowlege. The fact that he had been smoking cannabis contributed to his death as was confirmed by the doctors. If i wasn't under oath I could give you his name, age, the date and the hospital he died at.

I understand you may think such drugs are harmless, thats you perogative, but unless you're a paramedic, doctor or nurse you have no right to tell me that cannabis is flick around the ears.