talkmagic.co.uk

It toook me years of practice to learn how to palm a chimp but I am still working on getting rid of those tell tale hairs on the palms of my hands.

I will also indulge in some self promotion by letting you all know that I'm about to release my Needle through Baboon effect and am taking advance orders.

connor o'connor wrote:Chimps are hard to find in this area. Not because they are rare but because they are indistingishable from the local yoof.
I do have a two year old child but I am worried about the cigarette packet and the message this would convey. If it's got low tar written on it she may get branded a wus.

Chimps are hard to source around here at this time of year. So get yourself one of those chimp breeding kits. Once you get them started, you'll have an endless supply. Just store them in the fridge and they're ready for use. Not sure the missus is too keen on the idea though.

Good Idea.

I know you used to get powdered/dehydrated chimps ( just add boiling water ). But I think the animal rights went ape or bananas at this and got them banned.

I used to be animal rights but got thrown out for smuggling drugs and cigs to the inmates.

bleedin animal rights activists, put a stop to my cups and balls style chimps and bananas routine. i think it was the melon final load they really objected to.

I used to do baboon bending at kids' parties until the RSPCA raided and brought it all to an end. I used to make beautiful baboons too - I could make hats, dogs, swords, giraffes, even fairy wings. Now my baboons are consigned to a plastic bag in my garage - right next to the "pumper-upper" that brought such delight to the eyes of little children.

Ah, happy memories.

I had a magic crocodile which made small children disappear. NSPCC complained. Theres always some miserable so and so about isn't there!!! Didn't give a moments thought to his indigestion... Some people!!!

You can buy flash poo for chimps to throw now. They fling it and in mid air it explodes and turns into a brown silk.

A hit with kids.

Lord Freddie wrote:You can buy flash poo for chimps to throw now. They fling it and in mid air it explodes and turns into a brown silk.

A hit with kids.

Lord Freddie wrote:You can buy flash poo for chimps to throw now. They fling it and in mid air it explodes and turns into a brown silk.

A hit with kids.

Oh my God, I almost forgot about this. I used this in my show once where I was in a cage with chimps. I was pretending to be a chimp, I even 'acted' out mating with one. I pooed on a branch of a tree, and the chimps scopped it up and lobbed it at the audience of kids.. where.. yes, it explode into what at first looked like diahorrea but then revealed itself to be .. yes.. brown silk.. the kids loved it. until they realised it still smelled of poo!!

what have magic tic tac boxes got to do with poo throwing monkeys?

can we stay on topic? or at least find a way to make the monkey throw it's poo inside the sealed tic tac box only to have the poo transform into chocolate flavoured tic tacs...

at least that's what the guy at the store said they were...

I see you have mastered this move, ID, perhaps you'd like to be the first to review my Chimp to Sealed Carton of UM BONGO effect....

Indeed i would my Lord. I would be honoured

Bobby Cat.. you may be onto something here, poo to tic tac box.. then a transformation of the poo into chocolate tictacs!!

Yes.. I like it..

You are right though.. please try to keep this topic about my wonderfully genious effect!!

I like your thinking. Though I think someone else did something with poo and tic-tacs? Or was it a load of old poo using tic-tacs?

I forget now...

be careful ID... that's a copyrighted effect mate. I hope your proposed handling is not the same as mine...

I have another effect I am working on, I may include it in my lecture notes, where I make monkey diareha vanish (using a TT) and re appear inside a bread roll as monkey poo "pellets". I am thinking I can routine this to swing straight into the tic tac box thing. what do you think?