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by **Michael Kras** » Jul 24th, '07, 21:17

Why don't we start a list of the best one-lines we know? Some of us could beinift fromn it by picking up some great new ones. Here's my favourite:

"I bet you're wondering why I decided to become a magician... Well, my parents were both food critics and I just didn't want to follow in their Fat-steps."

Kind of mean, but quite funny.

And here's a TERRIBLE line used for female hecklers that my friend Ken uses in his shows:

"WOW, it's not even baseball season and already the bags are loaded."

Awful, I know... So join in! Lay 'em on me!

by **Beardy** » Jul 24th, '07, 21:19

Michael Kras wrote:join in! Lay 'em on me!

Innuendo bingo

by **Michael Kras** » Jul 24th, '07, 21:20

DARN! Too late.

by **I.D** » Jul 24th, '07, 21:40

to a girl: You, Me, Bed, Now

by **David The Cryptic** » Jul 24th, '07, 21:45

Just watch fresh prince of bell air. He has tons of them. :lol:

Or the Marx Brothers. I actually have a book on one liners.

by **moonbeam** » Jul 24th, '07, 22:37

I.D wrote:to a girl: You, Me, Bed, Now

Another one to a girl:
Fancy a game of strip poker ?? You strip - I'll poke ya :wink:

by **MattVonFat** » Jul 24th, '07, 23:54

When asking someone out:

"Are you free tonight or do I have to pay?"

by **Michael Kras** » Jul 24th, '07, 23:57

He he he... Any more? Anyone?

by **monker59** » Jul 25th, '07, 00:04

If you're about to get into a fight: "Sorry, I don't need to over express my rage to compensate for a small penis"

Used that one just recently. It shut the @$$**** right up.

by **Kemo** » Jul 25th, '07, 01:07

my personal favorite - "I refuse to enter a batter of wits with an unarmed opponent"

by **bananafish** » Jul 25th, '07, 07:57

It may be worth searching, I am sure there are a couple of "one-liner" threads in existence...

by **Mandrake** » Jul 25th, '07, 09:03

bananafish wrote:I am sure there are a couple of "one-liner" threads in existence...

Spot on as always!

See http://www.talkmagic.co.uk/ftopic4146.php (and the links from it) and also http://www.talkmagic.co.uk/ftopic1538-0-asc-0.php

Crikey, I just found another one at http://www.talkmagic.co.uk/ftopic2828.php - they must be breeding....

by **Michael Jay** » Jul 25th, '07, 15:54

I could be your father, but the dog beat me over the fence.

by **Tomo** » Jul 25th, '07, 16:00

"These cards are my tools. If I grabbed your tool you wouldn't like it, would you?"

by **Carl Buck** » Jul 25th, '07, 16:21

Don't you know it's dangerous to drink on an empty head?

Next time somebody says penny for a thought, sell.

I know you're not as stupid as you look.. Nobody could be.

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