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One that stuck in my mind (because part of it forms the title of a story):

It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.




If you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. If you teach him how to fish, he'll eat for the rest of his life. If you teach him the ACR, he'll stop anyone else from ever eating.

(I might have tweaked that one a little.)

Blapsing_Beard wrote:...chris you're hot, will you please date me?

Does she go everywhere with a dog and a white stick?

"Ich bin ein Berliner" - John Kennedy

Falsely translated to "I'm a person from Berlin"
Actual translation means "I'm a doughnut"

Of course everyone knew what he meant, still funny though...

Palfince wrote:"Ich bin ein Berliner" - John Kennedy

Falsely translated to "I'm a person from Berlin"
Actual translation means "I'm a doughnut"

Of course everyone knew what he meant, still funny though...

Wasn't that ich bin ein Frankfurter?

My favourite quotation is probably the famous Winston Churchill one. It's not exactly feminist, but I just think it's well funny:

Female politician arguing with Churchill: If I was your wife I'd put poison in your coffee!!

Churchill: If you were my wife... I'd drink it!

There's nowt on telly, so I've been going through old notebooks...

"Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain. Most fools do." - Dale Carnegie.

"Don't worry if I fail because I don't worry." - Chan Canasta

"Lies are the beautiful dust that enhance all objects" - Albert Camus.

"There's only one problem with magick - it doesn't work" John Simmonds, 'The Great Beast'

"It's a terrible thing when you have to wear glasses to read someone's mind" - Drew McAdam.

"It doesn't matter that you're richer than me. My brain works" - Tony Wilson

"I tell you we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different" - Kurt Vonnegut.

"You've only failed when you stop trying" - Dr Colin Pillinger

"When we are too old to make love we will make wonderful soup" - Rene Artios

"I have wasted time. Now time doth waste me" - Richard III

"I don't want to be moulded. I'm not a jelly" - Bertram Wilberforce Wooster.

"The idea of fitting in just repels me" - Guinan.

"You don't have to be depressing to be serious" - Eric Morcambe

"A man can die happy knowing he's immortal" - Wolfie Smith

"Are you Uri Geller? I'm a big fan. I've got all your spoons" - Jerry Sadowitz

"Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children and hitting them?" - Bender, 'Futurama'

"Every joke is a tiny revolution" - George Orwell.

"When you kill time you murder success" - Stiff Records slogan.

And finally......

"Since the twin towers went down there's been a whole raft of legislation that's been thrown up that puts the onus on us to account for ourselves and our actions to the state. And in a democracy it works the other way round. We are the power. We give it to politicians. They have to account for their actions to us. That's how it works." - Mark Thomas, 'Serious Organised Criminal'

Tomo, you wooly old liberal - haha!

I'd also like to add "Hasta la victoria siempre" - Ernesto 'Che' Guevara

As the song goes: Shake shake shake... shake shake shake... Che Guevara

Oooh, I've just thought of another good one, but I don't know who said it. "Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends".

True friends stab you in the front.

Stultus est sicut stultus facit. (Stupid is as stupid does.)


Doh!

"To be is to do" - Socrates.
"To do is to be" - Jean-Paul Sartre.
"Do be do be do" - Frank Sinatra.

- Kurt Vonnegut

"Reality is composed of all the things that, when you stop believing them, they don't go away."

-Philip K. Dick

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong."

- Bertrand Russell

I got a good one.

if you get to a fork in the road take a left.

Four Wheeling Bible

Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all.

Sir Winston Churchill

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

Sir Winston Churchill

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.

George Orwell

queen of clubs wrote:Tomo, you wooly old liberal - haha!

"The path of least resistance is the path of the loser" - H.G Wells

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure
owed me a lot of money."

-Jack Handy

"Cease to do evil, learn to do good, purify the heart"

Dardo Rimpoche


"All conditioned things are impermanent. With mindfulness, strive on"

Last words of the Buddha.


"I know how gods begin, Roger. We start as dreams. Then we walk out of dreams into the land. We are worshipped and loved, and take power to ourselves. And then one day there's no one left to worship us. And in the end, each little god and goddess takes its last journey back into dreams...and what comes after, not even we know. I'm going to dance now, I'm afraid."

Ishtar in The Sandman: Brief Lives.

No matter where you go, there you are.
Buckaroo Banzai?

Wild Card wrote:With Power, Comes Great Responsibilty"

SpiderMan

I think you mean "with great power comes great responsibility..."

first said by Ben Parker, Spidey's uncle... not spidey.

How about:

"Marge, if you're going to complain every time I do something stupid, I may just stop doing stupid things..."

Homer J.