talkmagic.co.uk

Hi Costas, appart from the ability to walk upside down (without the need for wires like David Copperfield... sorry Mark, there's another guy you most likely dont like... makes lots of money, has full head of hair) we Aussies also have a unique ability to "poke a little fun" at each other and not take things so seriously... ***That's right Mark... it's just a little fun*** wonderful quality that, something to truely be proud of.

that, and of course our recent total domination of the Commonwealth Games...

i think we should welcome the great Mark Lewis to Aus with open arms. for one, he most likely can teach us a thing or more about the magical art, further more, those of us whom have "convinct british backgrounds" (sorry Mark mine is Austrian and Italian) could try and pick his pockets, since i have no doubt they are full of money.

another plus, walking upside down indeed increaes blood flow to the scalp which will assist in the re growth of hair... just one reason why Australian men are 5 times less likely to be bald... except of course our Prime Minister who obviously spends far to much time in Europe and North America.

Keep it up guys, this is the funniest thread I've read for ages.

Agreed. Hilarious. That takes talent.

Brad.

I have always considered Australians to be a most uncouth race of people. Since they are mostly descended from the British this is of course no surprise. Of course this is because the British are most uncouth too. However Australians are descended from the most uncouth of the uncouth. That is what makes them even more obnoxious than the British.

It is probably the reason that they cannot capitalise their sentences either.

I can assure the gentleman who appears to have the very odd name of Bobby Cat that it is correct that I have no hair. It is also manifestly obvious that he has no brains. However once I had hair.

It has always struck me as a sign of a person losing an argument or being Australian when they resort to remarks about baldness. Still. We all make mistakes. I am tempted to say that Bobby Cat's mother made one. However I won't say this since it is perfectly obvious that I am a model of tact and diplomacy which I think people who constantly walk upside down would do well to emulate.

As for his Austrian and Italian background I would remind him that they lost the war.

As for David Copperfield it is certainly true that I am not a fan of his. He is far too sickly and American for me. He was described perfectly to me as one who is "all teeth and moody" by a pitch person. This is grafter's language for someone who is full of false smiles and insincerity. I don't think he would be too popular in Australia.

As for the Commonwealth Games I have no idea what they are. I do not follow sport of any kind. I am far too busy and important for that sort of thing.

I am glad that Brad is still here and appears to be enjoying himself. Of course he is Canadian and they never have much fun. They are also a most terribly polite people and have nothing in common whatever with uncouth Australians.

I bet you all thought that Brad was American. He isn't. The secret is out.

Incidentally we've got your bloody prime minister here now in Canada. Unfortunately I have been far too busy to grant him an audience. Just as well. I am not in the mood for hearing what a sterling chap George Bush is and how Australia is delighted to contribute cannon fodder for the war in Iraq.

Mind you it is a pity he didn't send a few Austrian/Italian/Greek Australians there while he was at it.

Here come the complaints from people who don't get the 'joke'

Ha! no complaints... we accept an ignorant fool will rant and rave for our collective amusement... why not? it's fun to read.

references to my mother? careful. try and show some class.

BC being Canadian. who told you Mark? we agreed you were not to know that!

[quote ML]
I have always "considered" Australians to be a most uncouth race of people.
[unquote ML]

nothing "considered" about what you post... yr cripticly unfunny and for some reason bitter and envious (not jealousy mind you... envy... look it up).

[quote ML]
As for his Austrian and Italian background I would remind him that they lost the war.

what a sterling chap George Bush is and how Australia is delighted to contribute cannon fodder for the war in Iraq.
[unquote ML]

what's it going to be? you cant sit on the fence... you cant have it both ways... republican or democrat?

Ah Mark... you self proclaimed folically challenged genius... why is it i have not heard of you before? you truely are one in a million... thankfully. I am just pleased I can divert you from your typical obsession with who is better... Kirk or Picard?

at the end of the day, you are not as unique as you would hope... you may be of no value in a game of poker, but there is at least one of you in every deck of "Bikes" i own. you know, the cards i use to practice "Mindbender"... a great effect i bought on DVD from Brad!

smile friend, we're just having fun... and you are a master at that!

Great post

Warning: Political Response – If you are one that is prone to political sensitivity I would advise you to skip the following section:
------------------------------------------------------
I contemplated whether or not I should respond to your last post regarding the current Prime Minister of Australia and after taking the following into account I made my decision.

The Cons:

The risk of taking this thread too far off topic
The risk of upsetting those who are a little politically sensitive
The risk of moving one step closer to the dark baleful world of Mr Lewis
The risk of being deported from Australia
The risk of being the next military target of the Bush Administration

The Pros:
Too damn tempting (which easily outweighs the Cons)

So my menacing fiendish friend Mr Lewis, as far as your comments regarding this Iraq War issue goes; I have the following to proclaim: as far as I am concerned, that man who is currently known as the Prime Minister of Australia is not voicing the opinion of the general Australian public, just as I would guess that Blaire is not speaking on behalf of the general masses of Britain. And if he had sent Austrian/Italian/Greek Australians over to Iraq as you had so callously suggested; tell me, who would save that modest genius Mark Lewis from a miserable life filled with days of overwhelming politeness, maple syrup and total boredom in the land that he is currently hiding- I mean residing in?
-------------------------------------------------------
End of political response

As for Brad Christian being Canadian! Why has he not come out of the closet? Why is this not mentioned on his personal website? This is outrages and scandalous! I hear Canadians are proud of their nationality and like to be distinguished from the U.S. Americans just like New Zealanders don’t like to be confused with Australians (and understandably so – as they are a different brand of convicts).

As for those who may have taken a little offence to the past comments made; my advice would be to please try and keep your hair on especially when reading the bold comments made by Mr Lewis (no pun intended - I am actually missing several strands myself due to not following Bobby Cat’s advice and spending too much time in the northern hemisphere walking upright).

Anyway, it is also nice to see Mr Brad C himself pop in and say hello every now and then and to have had the opportunity to entertain him amongst other respected members of this forum such as Darrel and stephenmagic (who I will have words with soon for promoting products again at the CUPS Anonymous meetings).

So for now, goodnight to all my fellow magicians!

Best Regards,

Costas the puny and worthless but extremely modest individual!

You kill me, you really do No products were promoted, he had purchased them and was giving tips for better use Now have a nice cake

Ah! Those magic cakes are good ! They really do hit the spot! Okay, you're off the hook. But you will be hearing from me at the CUPS forum soon as I will need the moral support from other sufferers such as yourself to stop me from purchasing Daniel Garcia's Project DVD set.

good, when is the next meeting, i am close to purchasing a £600 talking skull (no i am not joking )

Jolly good. Bobby cat is losing his temper. I knew I could make him do it.

As for remarks about my baldness so what? I venture to suggest that if lack of hair is a matter for insult then I expect half of this forum should be included.

However it appears that I shall have to retaliate against this impertinence and I shall do so by correcting the awful spelling and grammar of Robert the Cat who is obviously a product of the Australian education system. Every time he or Costas makes reference to my lack of hair I shall most viciously correct Bobby Cat only (since he is the more illiterate of the two) and try to improve his spelling and grammar.

Since it is perfectly obvious that he is only 14 years old or so and since it is also obvious that he is a product of what happens when cousins marry I suppose it only to be expected that he cannot spell "cryptically" properly or capitalise the word "I" There are far more mistakes than that and I shall address them when I feel the need.

I have no problem whatever capitalising the word "I" since I find it to be my most favoured word.

Furthermore it ill behooves him to yap about "class" when I refer to his mother a most awful woman that I do believe I met once in Earls Court, London. A most horrific female person as I recall. However "class" and "Australia" are not words that normally go in conjunction with each other so he may as well not even use the word.

As to the fact that he has never heard of me I must also say that strangely enough his own name has up to now escaped me. He is obviously a nondescript and scruffy Australian schoolboy whereas I am one of the greatest magicians the world has ever known.

From now on I shall expect him only to speak when he is spoken to. He should also ponder the vagaries of reverse psychology and wonder what I really want him to do.

Is this not going too far now. A joke is a joke but some people do not get it.

stephenmagic wrote:good, when is the next meeting, i am close to purchasing a £600 talking skull (no i am not joking )

Oh man, you seem to have CUPS really bad! Okay, I will have to speak to the others. We will have to stage an emergency meeting for you as soon as possible! It might be hard to reach greedoniz, as he is probably going through a traumatic separation due to his recent purchase of Spooked! I believe Mandrake has his own issues after buying that collapsible magician’s hat, which doesn’t even fit him! And Steverino, after buying a few thimbles has also fallen off the wagon. Anyway, just leave it to me and I will see what I can do!