The Green and Slimey Thread

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The Green and Slimey Thread

Postby seige » Feb 20th, '07, 13:21



OK, so, you're not feeling pink, and neither are you feeling fluffy?

In fact, you're feeling unwashed, greasy and you have the 'I can't be bothered to do anything today' attitude?

Fed up with looking at things with rose-coloured specs?

Welcome to the Green and Slimey thread.

Dedicated to those of you in the real world who fulfil ANY of the below criteria, or feel free to add your own:

    You've got 2 months grace until Council Tax is due... are you dreading the new pricing scheme
    You've had your credit card bill through, it's not a pretty sight
    You've got a post-winter 'cold', and you didn't realise the human body could create such foul substances as those you found in your hanky
    You drank wayyyy too much last night, and even though you've vowed never to drink again, it isn't helping in the short term
    Pay-day is far too many days away, and you hope that writing the cheque out for your car tax will co-incide with the bank balance going up
    You're being hassled at work for jobs you should have done last week, but you've barely got the energy—let alone the inclination—to pick up your coffee, let alone trawl through the backlog
    Your wife/partner is still nagging about that little chore you didn't do during the Christmas break
    You've got a dinner with the in-laws planned for this weekend
    You treated yourself to a new inkjet printer at Christmas, a bargain, but now you realise the inks cost more than running your car
    That little spot you got on your forehead (and you don't normally get spots) has grown to a boil since you tried poking it
    You hope nobody at work notices you have a rather odd stain around the groin area on your black trousers
    You owe a mate £15, and you're seeing them later


All these little life's miseries are REAL WORLD. No, they're not all happening to me—I literally plucked them out as bad scenarios. Yeah, they get on your wick—but there's nothing you can do about them. So, bumholes to pink and fluffy today, I'm on a green and slimey, and no mistake!

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Postby Marvell » Feb 20th, '07, 13:24

I'm feeling green and slimey today, I've got to get a bar job to pay for my cat's vet bill.

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Postby Tomo » Feb 20th, '07, 13:28

I pitched an absolute blinder of an idea to an editor last week. I just knew he'd snap my hand off, but I've heard nothing back. :cry:

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Postby Marvell » Feb 20th, '07, 13:32

Why do you need to pitch ideas to editors? What's that all about?

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Postby Magic1Jim » Feb 20th, '07, 13:34

I just got a letter off the bank this morning getting charged £205 for going overdrawn got one last month for £170. Good job i get paid this friday. Had a bad case of CUPS this last couple of months. But hey it must be done.

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Postby IAIN » Feb 20th, '07, 13:41

good use of the word bumholes....

well, in general, just the robot like consultants that invade my office from time to time...they have no people skills, think that they know just about everything thats ever been thought about or created when its obvious in meetings that they dont...

and most importantly, treat everyone else around them like sh*t...just cos they earn more....i've had a couple of harsh words with one or two about their bad attitude...

and i've now managed to put the fear amongst them as of last friday, when i did my version of OOTW infront of them, but with a fake NLP slant (as they love all that), so they now think i can influence them all at the drop of a hat...

people on the tube - wearing ruksacks and reading papers on a cramped busy tube - taking up triple the amount of space, yet get annoyed if anyone dare crumple their paper. if i had a flamethrower....they'd be gone...

for a moment, getting very angry and scared at a memory stick which contains two books im working on at the moment...

and finally - a mate of mine, who i've known for 18 years, still after all this time, just cannot give a straight answer to just about anything you ask him....

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Postby Tomo » Feb 20th, '07, 13:58

Marvell wrote:Why do you need to pitch ideas to editors? What's that all about?

I'm a freelance writer. It's how I get work. Sometimes they invite me to pitch, but a lot of the time it's about working up ideas into pitches and getting commissions.

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Postby Renato » Feb 20th, '07, 14:02

Just getting over a cold, which is good in a sense but still a nusiance.

Pretty brutal (music) gig last night - lost my footing twice so now it hurts when I sit, cut my knee so it hurts when I walk, done something to my neck, shoulder and back so it hurts when I move...

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Postby kems » Feb 20th, '07, 14:03

Magic1Jim wrote:I just got a letter off the bank this morning getting charged £205 for going overdrawn got one last month for £170. Good job i get paid this friday. Had a bad case of CUPS this last couple of months. But hey it must be done.


you can get all this back! i have just claimed back the last 6 years of bank charges!! nearly £800 of my money back!

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cgi-bi ... 0760,24632,

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Postby Magic1Jim » Feb 20th, '07, 14:05

I heard about this but wasnt sure whether or not there was a certain criteria for you to qualify, thanks for that :D :D

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Postby seige » Feb 20th, '07, 14:09

... Add to the Green and Slimey list...

"Hello Sir, I'm Ian from MobileDirect. Just want to have a word with you about your phone contract, we see it's due to expire soon, and we're offering you a free upgrade plus a better call plan..."

"Ian, let me stop you there... I took out a 24 month Business Contract with Vodafone in December. By my reckoning, that leaves me with 21 months left on my contract. So, where did you get your information?"

"Well, can we interest someone else in your household?"

"Ian, where did you get your information?"

"OK, sorry to bother you, thanks for your time, I'll call you back in a year"

***phone hangs up***


OK, I must get two of these a week. And it DEFINATELY makes me feel green and slimey.

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Postby Marvell » Feb 20th, '07, 14:09

Tomo wrote:I'm a freelance writer. It's how I get work. Sometimes they invite me to pitch, but a lot of the time it's about working up ideas into pitches and getting commissions.

And there's me naively thinking that you just write the book and approach publishers with it :) Show's what I know!

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Postby Marvell » Feb 20th, '07, 14:13

seige wrote:OK, I must get two of these a week. And it DEFINATELY makes me feel green and slimey.

Are you not on the telephone preference list?

http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/tps/
http://www2.bt.com/static/i/btretail/consumer/btprivacy/index.html

EDIT: Top tip for phone calls with companies, tell them you are recording the call. Works a treat for customer services.

"Am I right in thinking this call could be recorded?"
"Yes"
"OK, I'd just like to inform you that I'm recording this call too."
"*gulp*"

Last edited by Marvell on Feb 20th, '07, 14:16, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby seige » Feb 20th, '07, 14:15

Yep.

It makes no odds.

Been on the TPS with regular updates every time we get new mobiles etc.

I don't know where these databases are, but they sure seem to have it in for my mobile number.

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Postby Marvell » Feb 20th, '07, 14:17

seige wrote:I don't know where these databases are, but they sure seem to have it in for my mobile number.

I suggest you prosecute them :)

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