talkmagic.co.uk

Yes and I think we need to steer away form the blatantly sexist stuff such as, 'Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point - who let her out of the kitchen in the first place?
That sort of thing would never do, oh dear me no Mr Grimsdale…

Mandrake wrote:Yes and I think we need to steer away form the blatantly sexist stuff such as, 'Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point - who let her out of the kitchen in the first place?
That sort of thing would never do, oh dear me no Mr Grimsdale…

totally agree, also jokes like Why did the woman cross the road? To fetch her worthless husband back from the pub would be totally unacceptable

...as a man of the cloth, i cannot condone such behaviour...

i would like to ask every modern woman though to consider these things:

why do i never see women offering men help with bags?
why do women (especially pretty ones) always pack more than they can actually carry, then just put on the doe eyes when you pass?
as a matter of fact, all toilet seats should have the lid up, so people with poor vision guess when it's last been used...
why are all the best chefs male?

thank you, your co-operation is appreciated...

i think it's terrible that people still tell jokes in this day and age such as how many men it takes to open a can of beer.

Besides it should be already open by the time she's fetched it from the fridge anyway

I was watching a program about this small town in Texas and the sherrif had got crime down to virtualy nill, when asked how he said its easy I punish them...

I use to have all the male prisoners on a chain gang. Then I thought Hell this is the age of eqaul oppoutinity so I put all the women on one as well

Wonder if he will stand for mayor of London he has my vote.

Lady of Mystery wrote:

abraxus wrote:...many a true word spoken in jest Lady of Mystery...

though im certainly not suggesting that women are over-complicated or anything...

or that I was suggesting that men are shallow and unromantic

freakin sexist!!!

I decided it was time to get a rabbit for my childrens shows. I've had "peanut" for a few weeks. I triedn to tame him with rabbit tidbits, but he just turned his nose up at them. The one thing he likes though, is anything toasted. I ended up buying packets of toasties and training went easily. He liked cheese toasties, ham toasties and even tuna toasties.
He has started to look a bit scruffy now and is very listless. I am very worried, so if any of you that keep rabbits can tell me what might be wrong, I would be grateful.


My thoughts is that he might be suffering from "mixingmytoasties"

Two monkeys are sitting in the bath. One goes "OoohhaaAaAhEeeheeeheeeh!"

The other says "Well put some cold in then".

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?


Fish.

What's big and red, and if it hits you in the eye it will kill you?

A fire engine.


Did you hear the one about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He stayed awake all night wondering if there really was a dog.


What were the Dalai Lama's first words?

As I was saying...


How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, watch as I cover it with a hanky.... (sorry, made that up on the spur of the moment)


Why did the pervert cross the road?

His (insert rude word here) was stuck in the chicken

What did the scarf say to the hat?


You go on ahead, I'll go around.



What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh


Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.



I went to the gym last night, tried out this new machine but I started feeling sick after half an hour. Its good though, it has twix's, mars bars, mini-chedders... everything!!